Surrounded ...

I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.. not just one but several..

You all know about my battle of the bulge, but there are a couple more I don't mention.. the one that I feel like I'm fighting right now is the battle at work.. 

I'm the only girl.. surrounded by men.. and I'm in a place of authority.. My boss seems to understand how to treat people.. but he has no compassion for me whatsoever... He is hard on me, and chooses to put me on probation, when I had to miss work due to a car accident.. I don't understand him.. 

I'm not used to people not liking me.. so this is confusing.. what do I do to rectify this?

I've been fairly proud of myself since I have yet to cry over this situation.. but in reality I'm devastated.. I'm trying to get a promotion.. and this probation means I won't be able to be promoted for at least a year!

Plus.. here I am right now feeling like crap.. and I know I don't have the option to go home... I hate feeling like a prisoner at my job... 

It's much like being a prisoner in your body.. 

You know the environment.. you just cannot get comfortable.. for fear of what could happen.. 

Gosh... when will things start to look up for me? 

The most comical part about this "probation" is today I had to read the "Ethics Policy" refresher, and it touches on people swearing in everyday talk, harassment, and being left out.. all things my boss is guilty of.. but hey.. as long as he gives me probation for my absence due to a car acci8dent.. all is right with the world.. 

Man I'm bitter!!!!!! 

xoxo

Facts Of Life...

So after my so called "Wake Up Call" I had a long talk with my guy. I told him yet again, how miserable I am in my own skin. How I am so sad that I look the way I do, and I must do something to change it.. 


The dilemma I face is when I'm with him at his house.. see he doesn't like Veggies.. So our meals mainly consist of carbs and protein.. This is why I always end up with a little gain after every weekend there.. 
So I told him we need to start carrying veg so I am able to stick to my Weight Watchers plan.. and feel full longer with the fiber of the veg.. 


He seems on board.. saying he wouldn't mind being on Weight Watchers too, to possibly lose 10-15 pounds himself.. So... I'm hoping he does join.. this way I'm not alone in my plight.. 


Years ago, when I was so successful, it's because I was actively doing the Points plan with a good girl friend. Something about the continued accountability helped me stick to it.. I think it was the competition factor.. I'm a very competitive person.. and I enjoyed seeing who lost more each week.. 


Where has this passion and competitiveness gone???? I had a marvelous day yesterday, and I stepped on the scale today, and it says I've gained.... I need to pack that damn scale up and ignore the numbers until a week has gone by... 


Okay... I know these blogs are boring right now.. I apologize.. it's just hard to be upbeat and funny when it feels like my weight is truly weighing deeply on me.. 


take care. 

xoxo