Just A Bit About Me....

My photo
Kitchener, ON, Canada
Well I'm the typical fat girl that everyone has as a friend. I'm funny, Sexy, Smart, and never a threat. I am on a journey to lose weight ( a lot of it!) and become the best Mummy to my son that I can be!... I'm sure there will be several times I stumble and fall, but follow me as I pick myself up, and continue along my way!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

I Rocked The Weigh In!!!

I did it.. I finally bust through my damn plateau of sorts.. I lost 3.6 this week.. all I can say is I am so proud of me! 

My girlfriends have been so supportive and helpful. I was actually planning on skipping this week's WI, but instead I went. (If I didn't go, I had 2 friends who both threatened to come to my house and drag me kicking and screaming.. ) ... so off I went.. not sure if I was going to go down.. I wasn't really all that scared, but still there was a sense of nervousness about me...  regardless of if I went down or not, I knew I had worked hard all week.  I went to a wedding reception last night.. open bar.. I didn't drink a drop, just 3 bottles of water.. and all the goodies they had there.. I had grapes and strawberries.. 

Very Very VERY proud of me.. and this week the diligence paid off.. 

So the differences between last week and this week.. 

I allowed myself wine last week.. and loved every drop of it! LOL
I worked out before work ..

I'm pretty sure the working out before work is what did it for me.. but I am glad I can still have my saturday glasses of wine and not have it hinder my weight loss!
I'm also thrilled because I get to go down a point in my daily points that I have to consume.. I've been trying to get rid of that darn point for WEEKS!!! LOL

Hope you all had such a stellar day!

I'm off to ready myself for my date!
take care!

(p.s pic is from Oktoberfest. ... not the wedding!! LOL)

Friday, February 27, 2009

I'm beat, but what a great week!!!

Okay I really wish I could get a Starbucks IV right now! LOL.. I am so horribly beat! I was awake Monday through Wednesday at 3:45am, and Thursday I randomly just awoke at 2:45am!!! Now why the early am's?? I went to the gym every day before work.. (did it today too.. yay). Now I am so darn proud of myself.  I worked out for 90 minutes M-W and with the extra time on Thursday I did an extra 30 and then allowed myself 30 minutes in the sauna!!!

Now food wise.. I've been a saint. I've eaten very healthy, within my points daily (well except for Saturday's cheat! )... I haven't had many carbs today, but I did have some for breakfast, so I'm hoping that's enough for now!

I've had loads of water, and have had to pee all day long, Yikes!!! 

So the weigh in tomorrow.. well.. usually I am fearful of them.. this week I'm so darn excited.. I cannot wait to see the results.. whether good or bad.. I know I worked my ass of this week (literally I hope... ), and  I'm proud of my commitment and motivation!

Now asides from the weight loss thing.. I may have a date tomorrow.. and I really like him.. so fingers crossed!!!

I'm off to a wedding reception tonight (yes on a friday!)... I plan on taking a Toonie with me.. (for water) and nothing more so I won't buy alcohol....  and I'm also going with 3 of my girlfriends.. and we plan on freaking dancing the night away.. hopefully I'll burn some more calories!!!

Hope you all have an amazing weekend!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Confessions of a Happy Camper

Okay I have got to tell you.. I haven't behaved myself much this week.. 
Saturday I decided to get drunk with my girlfriend who is in Weight Watchers with me (the skinny one! lol)... I already had plans to go to dinner with another girlfriend.. so I invited the Weight Watchers friend to come too.. 
and boy oh boy.. did we eat well.. 
We ordered an appetizer to start (Spinach and artichoke dip).. and drinks (I had a gin Martini.. yummy!)... then our entree.. (Boston Pizza's Perogi Pizza.. oh my gosh yum yum!).. and an extra side of Sour cream! 
We tried to be good and not get dessert, but my girlfriend from WW ordered us each an order of poutine for later that night.. lol.. I was like "who is going to want poutine later?".. but good thing she did!
We drank up a storm while chatting and laughing like mad! Then after I was about 1 full bottle of wine into the evening,  we started chowing down on the poutine.. oh my gosh sooo glad she ordered those!
I finally went to bed around 1am, after consuming all that food, and 1.5 bottles of wine.. lol

Now since then I haven't really eaten anything too crazy, but I haven't been following the WW plan 100%.. I just haven't been me all week. . I haven't cared whether or not I see a result this week.... I just ant to get away from the pressure of losing weight.. the way I felt the first couple weeks of the year, where I knew I could do it.. but I didn't care how long it would take to do so. 

Today however I feel like I'm back into the Groove!! I have 10 points left for the evening.. and I just made "white chili" it's 5 points a bowl.. so I'll do that and maybe finish it off with a homemade latte... 

Maybe this is my turning point. Maybe I needed to be Bad all week, just to get back to my starting point. 

Maybe....  Just Maybe I'm just making excuses so I don't feel so much like  I've strayed so very far this week.. for no intensive purpose. .. .. 

Whatever the reason, I can't change the past, so I must look ahead and see what could be.

Hoping you all have had a good couple days, whether you followed your program to a T or strayed as I have.. 

Take care, and blog soon!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Scale of fears...

I'm sad... 

Today the scale was not my friend. The month of February has been a waste for me,  I am back to where I was 4 weeks ago.. I lost 2 pounds the first 2 weeks and then in the last 2 I've put it back on. Exactly 1.0 pound at a time.  

If I were a guy I'd say this was a swift kick in the nutts. 

Feeling horribly sad. 

I worked my ass off this week. Everyday at the gym, I didn't even CHEAT!!!

So what have I done differently in the last 4 weeks.. 

I haven't had any wine.. 

So what will I do differently today?? 

I'm drinking a full bottle of "Fat Bastard" Merlot!
I'll let you know how this method works for me!!!
Don't worry I'm not going to be sad and drink alone.. I'm having my girls over and they are doing the exact same!!!
I'm taking today off from the gym.. I'll go back 
Have a good day, 

Friday, February 20, 2009

Scared to freaking Death!!!!!!!

Tomorrow .. 9am sharp.. less than 17 hours from now.. I am being... 


Okay so I really shouldn't be nervous, I worked out every day... I have eaten so properly that I should get a freaking medal.. I am FREAKING OUT!!!

What if I gain?

I can't take another gain.. I'll fall off this truck for sure.. the weight loss truck.. 
I PRAY I see results.. 
Real Results.. 

not a little 0.4 loss.. I want at least 2 pounds.. 


Okay so I'm a little melodramatic.. but I know in my heart I need something to keep my spirits up.. 

I had an old colleague write on my facebook wall today.. and I quote.. 

"I can't believe you haven't found that someone special. From what I remember you have all the right stuff, not that you need someone to complete whom you are, but it's nice to share it with someone........"

Okay so I'm desirable.. but why is it that it's only married and taken guys that tell me this?? LOL.. 


LOL... what ever!!!

On the heels of Valentine's day.. I still feel very very aware of my singleness!

Okay so no more freaking out.. I am going to be calm and drink lots of water today.. I pray pray 


pray.. I lose weight this week... 


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Another 48 hours...

Just a quickie today.. 

I am freaking nervous about the weigh in this week. Followed WW to a "T"... worked out everyday to the point of massive sweating.. No afterwork eating, and lots and lots of water.. 

So in reality I really shouldn't be worried about the weigh in! But ladies and gents.. that's not me. I'm a worrier, I just don't want to GAIN again!!!!! 

So wish me luck as I go off to the gym and survive the next 48 hours before the weigh in... 

I am craving all sorts of food.. chocolate, cheese, caesar salad, chicken wings (hmm all "C's"..) and breakfast... eggs, homefries, sausage, baked beans and toast!!! Mmmmmm!!  Thank God for Saturday morning breakfast with my great girlfriend who joined WW with me.. she's skinny, but likes to eat.. and we go for breaky every Saturday after our WW meeting.. our one "okay" time to cheat!

Okay I'm off.. best wishes to all of you out there.. and I'm gonna keep it together.. I WILL SUCCEED THIS WEEK!!!


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Self analysis

I have to admit, after the weekend I had I really need to get my butt in order.  I need to get my ass off the couch and work out very hard.. I'm nervous about the weigh in on Saturday, I kinda want to skip it in hopes that by the time I weigh in at the very end of the month I will see some kinda results.. 
I can't believe I've gone the ENTIRE month of February with NO results (the two pounds I lost... well I gained one back.. so a month and only one pound!!!!)... it's so off putting.
I know I can do this, I just need to get my head back into the game. 
Why am I falling off the wagon? 
Good question.. 
I'm thinking that it's because I'm freaking out over money, men, and weight (is their an M I could have used for weight?? mass perhaps?)... So money.. well lets just say I get paid well, but no extra over time really shows up on my pay cheque.. and now I have to use that dreaded word... "budget" gulp!!!! So then there's men..  Why do men say they are going to call and then don't.. but finally do at the end of the weekend with the excuse of why they were too busy to call? I mean, I totally believe them, but at the same time, is that my naivety ? ? ? Should I believe them? Do I want to believe them, because I want to be wanted?? 
Also on the Men aspect.. my ex just doesn't get the hint. He keeps messaging me and emailing me, telling me that when I'm ready he's here, when I'm ready he'll marry me.... YIKES!!!! Last night I broke down and messaged him.. thank God he didn't respond... but alas, he will get the message and then I'll have to make up some story about being drunk.. lol..... weakness sucks!!!
And I don't need to explain the weight thing.. you all know that story! Too bad  the other two (money and men) play such and influence on the weight... Oh my oh my oh my!

Well kiddies.. I'm going to put another load in the washer, and then get into my workout duds.. and then go workout.. definitely have to kick my own ass today!
Have a great Tuesday. 

Monday, February 16, 2009

One Step At A Time...

Okay I am in such better spirits today. I really had to take a step back from everything, and say "what was I thinking?"... 

I am so successful with so many things in my life, but when I try to tackle something that is a little harder, something that may take a little longer to see results, I get so down on myself.  I need to realize that good things take time.. like take my house for example (that's the pic .. my staircase..) I drove by it everyday for 7 months..  and it felt like it took FOREVER... and I'm so glad it took as long as it did.. because I absolutely love it.. it's perfect! My Mum often tells me that things that take a little longer to achieve almost force you to really enjoy and appreciate them! She is soo right. I know I would have loved a house that was already built. But my house is all me. I got to put all my little touches into it. I picked the tile, the countertops, the flooring, the carpet, the layout... So if I put that much effort and patience into my house, well why wouldn't I do the same for myself?? 
So I'm excited again. I'm not going to go into this too ambitious. I know I will have bad weeks. I know I will have obstacles to overcome. I know I will have slip ups. It's not these slip ups that will define me or my weight loss.. it's how I handle them. 
As for now I am planning on making myself up a delicious spinich pasta topped with tofu and turkey.. yum yum!
I hope you all had an enjoyable "Family Day" (if you are in the Canadian Provinces that observe it as a holiday...) or a fantastic "President's day" (If you're an American...)... or just a terrific Monday (to all the rest!)... 
Have a splendid evening.. 

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Warning... Warning... Rant Ahead...


This is not for the faint of heart.. 

I am so freaking pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was SooooOOOOoooo good all week.. with one slip up last night.. and I gained a FU&*ING pound.  

Now I'm not being completely oblivious to my mess up last night. I know I ate Chinese (1 plate.. a bigger plate, but still 1 plate) , and drank beer (1 bottle), and had chocolate (a big bag of M&M's.. gotta do it right! LOL).. but still with all the freaking working out I did... I thought I would have lost 4 lbs... OH MY GOODNESS>>>> SOOOOooooooOOOOO not impressed right now!

So don't be surprised if you don't hear too much from me this week. I need to get back to square one and figure out what I'm doing wrong.. 

I hate being a failure.. I am such a competitive person.. and I know I'm not a "Failure" but I failed myself... and that's bad.. I am the kinda girl that strives to be the best at everything. 

Take work for example.. to get promoted to Team Leader you need to be there about 3 years full time.. I put it in my head that I was going to be a team leader, .. not just any team leader, but the first female team leader in the weld shop (I'm the only female in the weld shop... has it's good days.. and it's bad!)... so I took all my classes, passed my test, made it to the interview process against 7 men,  and lo and behold was a team leader 13 months after I made full time!

I'm very very VERY competitive! Also very goal oriented.. 

I can do this, I will do this.. 
I just need to figure out how to accomplish my goals and succeed!

Enjoy Valentines day, 
you know I love you all

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentines day blues..

Oh my goodness.. 
why is it that every year I get so down... Valentine's day is a commercialized holiday, and although I am perfectly happy being a member of the singledom's, I still feel so very alone during this time where everything is so damn couple oriented.. which sucks, because I am such a strong woman usually!!

So how did I deal with these feelings of singledom and doom? Well I just ate a bunch of chinese food, which I washed down with a nice cold beer, and then topped off with some chocolate.. at the time it made me feel SOOOoooooOOOOOO good.. however .... well now I don't feel as good! LOL

So there is my online confession.. and to think, tomorrow is weigh in day!  I wonder how this slip will effect the scale.. oooh damn it!

I hope everyone feels some love this weekend, even if it's from the creepy seahorse at the zoo! LOL

Well happy Valentines day bloggers!


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Journey Continues....

I just got home from the Gym, I had a terrific work out, and feel like this week is going to be as successful as I hope it will be!!! Maybe I won't lose 4 pounds, but I'm still gonna lose!

I'm sitting here, watching Dawson's Creek... Do you remember the days when that was on the air? Ahh the will they won't they couple of the century, Dawson & Joey... I always rooted for Pacey though, the classic underdog.. the jokester, the side kick.. the hottie!!!  I always saw myself as Joey and hoped my best friend at the time would one day look at me and see the girl of his dreams.. (That never happened.. the douche bag that he was talked about me behind my back calling me a cow, talking about how poor my family was, and how pathetic I was.. nice huh?? Great best friend.. I sure knew how to pick em!) ... life was soo much simpler back then.. my biggest concern was what I would do on the weekend... However I was well over 300 pounds even back then.. and lived vicariously through my favourite tv shows. I loved the Capeside gang, and the mess they would get into. The over educated conversations they would have, and the horrors that they had to endure (oh no.. my car has a ding, or who will I take to the prom?? LOL).. Watching these old episodes almost transports me back in time.. and now it makes me think of how different my life is now... When I was young my family was very hard up. We could barely make ends meet, now I have a terrific job, and although times are tough with the recent economic crisis, I am soo much better off. Weight wise, well I'm about 150 pounds lighter than I was in highschool, I have better skin, much better fashion sense.. and some fantastic friends.. Life is so freaking great right now.. 

It's amazing how an episode of Dawson's Creek makes me count my blessings!!!!! Makes me remember how wonderful my life is, and how I shouldn't let the small things make me stumble and get discouraged!

I'm back on the road to success, and I hope that you all can have a reminder in your day, something that makes you go "huh... life is soo much better today then when I was friends with that total douche who made me feel horrible about myself.." lol.. 

Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll break into my "Gummy Bears" dvd's and transport myself back to the ripe old age of 8!! LOL

Have a terrific day kids.. 
and all I gots to say is I'm soo glad Pacey got the Girl!!! :)


Monday, February 9, 2009

What a great day! I deserve a drink! LOL

Good afternoon Fellow Bloggers!!! :)

So.. what can I say?? I have had a terrific day so far! I awoke this morning with a smile on my face. I ate a healthy breaky of All Bran with Non-Fat milk, and a cup of Blackberries, I then put on my favourite work out duds, put my hair in a cute pony tail (it's almost long enough again.. hmm hair cut time?? LOL) and took my butt off to the gym!

I had a terrific workout.. started on the stair climber (which is truly of the Devil let me tell you!), then the eliptical, and finally the treadmill. I learned today that once my body is warmed up fully, I can run for longer. I had no problem running at 6.0 for 5 minutes straight.. something I have never been able to do before. 

So Question... 
Why is it that when you're at your sweatiest the cutest guy at the gym chooses the treadmill right beside you?? There I was a sweaty blobby mess.. and Mr. Nice Abs comes over and grins his award winning trident smile at the cute little trainer on the treadmill across the gym (why couldn't he go to the machine beside her?? Did they want to make googly eyes at each other??)  and then hops on the machine beside me.. running without a care in the world.. not sweating a drop at 7.3~ Meanwhile at this point I'm walking along at 3.9, an incline of 4.5.. and my face is sweating, my torso is sweating, even my ass is sweating, my nose is running, my hair is all over the place, and my ipod is blaring Britney... and he's just smiling, chatting and running..  I hate him! LOL.. and his cuteness... ahhhh the joys of a co-ed Gym!!! LOL

I can't wait to finish this day.. I've already accomplished my water goal... just hoping the assholes at work are in good spirits and don't make me pull my hair out! LOL... tonight I must make sure I don't eat when I come home, pretty much when I get off at 2:15am I am usually STARVING, but I've found I am most successful when I go straight to bed.. so the plan is off work, home by around 3am and in bed by 3:15!!!! NO FOOD AFTER WORK!!!!  LOL if only it was that easy.. I need a no food mantra... what should it be?? 
Eat after work and you'll have a fat ass?? LOL
Maybe it should rhyme.. Any ideas? LOL
Well I'm about to sign off, I think I am going to make the 0 point soup that is in the Weight Watchers start up book.. has anyone tried it?? Is it good at all?? If I like it I'll blog the recipe soon!!!

Hope you're all having such a divine day! 

1 Lousy Stinking Pound... AGAIN!

So ... I know I wasn't expecting to lose anything at all this week.. but losing one pound almost feels like a slap in the face.. like instead of not tipping.. when you only tip like 32 cents.. it's a freaking slap in the freaking face!!!

Oh my!~ LOL

Okay so I lost a pound.. it's still a loss.. I keep telling myself  Kirsti it's STILL A LOSS!!! 

 So now I get to do it.. I get to get up in the morning and work out.. plan my meals properly, track my points and FULLY SUCCEED this week! I am so going to kick some Weight Watchers ASS this week!!!

I believe this week I will lose 4 pounds..... (if I only lose 2 I shall be happy!) ... Since I started I've lost just over 14 pounds! That's more than I've ever lost on Weight Watchers before! However I am still about 18 pounds from my lightest ever. Soo.... Hoping that by the end of April to be back to that.. I just need to find that motivation again. 

Have you ever noticed how when you begin a weight loss journey you're all Gung Ho and then it's like 3 weeks later.. *POOF*  all you resolve and motivation is gone! Where does it go?? It goes in your mouth with that cookie and ends up on your hips and ass! 

I think all of life's little stresses are getting to me.. I had a first date that cancelled on me yesterday because of a house emergency (honestly it was understandable.. but  dissapointing nonetheless..), my cell isn't working properly and has to be sent out for repairs.. (that kills me.. I love my freaking cell!)... work has slowed down and my pay cheques look so amazingly sad.. and my poor dad has been out of work since October, damn lay offs...  I just need to learn how to process this stress.. the gym is a great way, but food is not.. 

Tonight I ate a GIANT bag of Hershey Eggies.. Man I love em!! Sooo bad for me.. I just felt lonely and sad.. however if I keep eating  like this I shall always be lonely and sad!!  

Believe it or not.. I am almost 100% of the time a happy person, it's just not always evident in my blogs..  I know I need to get back into blogging.. seeing as I do so much better when I lean on my fellow bloggers and get support and great ideas from you guys!

Thanks so much for always being out there with a kind word and advice. 
Until next time, 

p.s .. is it bad/sad that the cheese looks sooo yummy?? LOL

Thursday, February 5, 2009


So I feel like I've hit a road block.. I'm trapped in a rut.. I can't get out of it...  I have a plan on how to get around the obstacles.. but I just don't seem to make it.. it's like I just want to sit in traffic and watch my life pass me by.. 

 I've failed miserably this week..  I haven't exercised, I haven't eaten properly.. and I've felt like crap all week for it. 
I am not going to let this get me too far down. I plan on pushing through. I know I won't lose a pound... and I know that that is the consequence to my outrageous actions. 
I feel fat today. I feel like I failed. I feel like I'm not me.. 

Tomorrow is a new day! Tomorrow I will get up early (at 3:45am so I can still get to work for 6am!)  and go to the gym. I will conquer this slip, and continue on my journey. I totally know I will get my footing again.. and there are 3 things I can do to ensure that.. 

#1 Work out at least 4 days a week.. 
#2 Track my food, and follow my plan!
#3 start blogging again, and depending on my friends (both on and off line.)

so this week isn't going to be all that successful.. but I have high hopes for February 14, 2009... yes on valentine's day I shall see results!!! 

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Whoopsy Daisy!

Okay so what did I do?? I didn't eat all that well, but I didn't drink any alcohol, and I did stop myself when I realized just how much Crap  I ate.. it was a slip up, but I know I can come out of this with plenty of working out this week, and eating properly for the rest of the week.. wish me luck .. and I hope my Cardinals came out ahead.. right now they're winning.. but who knows! LOL.. a lot can happen in the last 5 minutes!!!!