Just A Bit About Me....

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Kitchener, ON, Canada
Well I'm the typical fat girl that everyone has as a friend. I'm funny, Sexy, Smart, and never a threat. I am on a journey to lose weight ( a lot of it!) and become the best Mummy to my son that I can be!... I'm sure there will be several times I stumble and fall, but follow me as I pick myself up, and continue along my way!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Successful Month!

Well what can I say, 
I've had a horribly successful month.. however this week was a bit of a let down. I only lost 1 pound.. one freaking pound! 
Is it much of a surprise?? Heck NO!!! LOL
I didn't follow the plan much this week, I only worked out 2 times this week, monday and friday, and I made an orange cranberry loaf this week, and to tell you the truth it's a great low fat recipe.. however when you eat the entire loaf.. well it's not so good! LOL

So I lost 13.2 pounds in January... That's incredible, and if I can lose the same next month.. well I'd be thrilled, so ... I'm gonna get back on track... Tonight I'm making more of the Low Fat Pad Thai (I blogged the recipe recently).. and a light chilli and a great chicken pasta.... 

I just need to get back into this. ... I can see myself at my goal.. and that excites me!

Funny story.. of my Optimism... 
January 4th weekend when I joined Weight Watchers I went shopping at the "chubby chicks" store "Penningtons" (it's a canadian store like Lane Bryant.)  and I tried on a pair of 16 jeans.. they were a tad too big.. so I tried on the size 14 jeans.. a tad tight.. so what did I do?? I bought the jeans.. in a size 12!!!! And.. now that I've lost 13.2 pounds this month.. I'm wearing them!!!!!! How great is that?? 

Okay so I lost 1 pound this week.. that's just so I can shoot for 3 this week.. my goal is 2lbs  a week!

When I think about it.. I'm a work in progress.. and all great things take time! :)

Hope you're all having a great Superbowl weekend.. remember Mindful Eating!!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Pad Thai Recipe - for Linda!! :)

Pad Thai - A MUCH lighter version!!

3 tbsp each freshly squeezed lime juice and
   asian fish sauce (look in the thai/asian/international cuisine section.. you'll find 
   the rice noodles there too.. it's by coconut milk, and hoisin sauce...)
2 tbsp each ketchup and brown sugar
1 tbsp each grated gingerroot and reduced sodium soy sauce
1 tsp toasted sesame oil
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes or hot pepper sauce
8 oz (227g) rice stick noodles, idealy 1/8 inch wide
2 tsp  peanut or vegetable oil
1/2 cup very thinly sliced red onions or shallots
2 tsp minced garlic
1 medium red bell pepper, diced or thinly sliced
8 oz (227g) uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 cup diced extra firm tofu (you want it firm at least, it's gonna fall apart otherwise)
2 cups bean sprouts
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 
1/4 cup chopped dry-roasted peanuts

* First gather all ingredients you'll need for the recipe and get them ready (i.e., chop the red pepper, peel the shrimp, chop the onions.. etc...) Once you're ready to go, the meal comes together quickly. You don't want to be hunting for the bean sprouts while the shrimp burns!

* To prepare sauce, whisk together lime juice, fish sauce, ketchup, brown sugar, gingerroot, soy sauce, sesame oil, and crushed red pepper flakes in a medium bowl. Set aside.

* Place rice noodles in a large bowl and pour boiling water over top. Let soak for at least 7 minutes, drain. 

* While noodles are soaking, heat peanut oil in a large, non stick wok. Add onions and garlic. Cook and stir over medium-high heat until onions are tender, about 2 minutes. Add red pepper and cook 2 more minutes, stirring often. Add shrimp and tofu. Cook and stir until shrimp turn pink, around 3-5 minutes. Add sauce you made earlier, noodles, bean sprouts, green onions and cilantro. Toss and cook until mixture is hot, 2 -5 minutes. Add peanuts and toss again. Serve immediately.. ( I like it better the second day.. and never eat it the first! LOL)

I like to stick a slice of lime on the side.. and use chop sticks of course! 

Calories  - 308
Total Fat - 7.3g
Sat. Fat - 1g
Protein - 15g
Carbs   - 47g
Fiber - 2.8g
Cholest - 57mg
Sodium - 990mg

Enjoy everyone!! :)

Sunday, January 25, 2009

So I'm supposed to put myself first eh?

The crazy thing about this "thing" we're all doing, this crazy little weight loss "thing" is that we need to be
Selfish, we need to take a step back and begin to put ourselves first, our needs first, our emotions first.... 

I'm a single girl, I have no kids, my family all live at least 2 hours away... So in reality you may wonder why it would be SO hard for me to do this.. but believe me it is. I have friends that I will go out of my way to be sure they are doing well, I call home constantly to see how everyone is. I call my brother and his wife up in the boonies of Sudbury to find out what's new (if I don't call.. I'll never know...)... and I will do anything to be sure I put myself second.. 

I've put myself first 4 times this past year... 
#1 - I built my dream home for myself... just being that frivolous and doing something for me.. all the planning, all the buying... I spent more money than some see in a year, just on things for the house. I got the appliances I wanted (is it weird to say my appliances are sexy??), I got the couch I wanted.. I bought a bed that just makes you want to have sex... I did it all.. and it's all for me...  (the bed has yet to see some sex..... lol)...

 #2 - I broke up with the one guy who has ever loved me... hardest thing I've ever had to do.. because the fat girl inside of me kept telling me "don't do it.. no one will ever love you again" oh my! How hard it was to pull away from him, end it and move forward. Now, in retrospect I know that someone will love me again.. and this time it's going to be a healthy relationship! My ex is a great guy, but not a great guy for me... if that makes sense.. He too has issues to deal with, and once he does, he's gonna be a fantastic husband.. for someone else...  I just couldn't stay in a relationship that always made me feel bad about myself.. and where I was giving 110% and he was only showing up for part of it... if that makes sense.. so totally that was for me... 

#3 - I took some courses at work and applied for a promotion.. and I got it.. this was totally for me.. I can't be lugging around car doors and hoods for ever. I can't be welding 9 hours a day when I want to have babies.. so now I over see it all, and although I may have to work online a couple hours a day, I am much healthier and happier on this side of the fence.. stepping out of my comfort zone and going for a promotion a lot of the guys wanted.. that was all for me!

#4 - I went on my dream trip with my best friend in December 2008.. I went to New York (freakin') City!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how amazing that place is! (Expensive too..... oh well!), It was what I've dreamed about for years, The Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, Broadway Shows, Central Park, China Town, Rockefeller Centre, and the lighting of the Rockefeller tree.. it was amazing! Then there's the shopping, Macy's, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Ave., Tiffany's, FAO Schwartz ( I danced on the big piano from BIG!).....  this was a dream  vacation for me.. I enjoyed every minute of it.. and spent a mint.. and LOVED it!!!

So now.. I have to figure out where to put myself first now? My ex called me about an hour ago.. he wanted to "See" me.. a booty call no doubt.. I lied, (I know I'm horrid) and told him I was having company over.. don't get me wrong.. I'd love a little booty call.. but not from him!.. It really would be sooo EASY to go back to him.. but all this progress I've made.. it would be flushed down the drain... I could have told him to come on over, get my shits and giggles out of the visit.. and make him happy.. but I didn't.. I said no.. and although that upset him.. it's what I needed to do in this situation to put myself first... 

So where else do I put myself first??  
Am I the only one with this dilemma?  Times are tough and I find myself sitting home alone a lot more than I used to. I have my Wii which I love, with my Wii Fit, Dance Dance Revolution 2, and guitar hero.. ooh and Mario Kart.. whee... and yet I won't sit and play.. as soon as I have this time I'm either cleaning the house, or calling people to see how they are.... where do I put myself first? Am I doing it now? I'm confused. 

My shrink told me on Thursday that I have to put myself first more.. I thought I was doing a pretty good job, but apparently I'm not. Apparently I have to cut all ties with my ex... yikes..  I just don't know what to do next.  I work out at least an hour a day.. and that's my "Kirsti Time"
but after that I'm running errands, calling my folks to see what they need me to do ... 

I'm not horribly stressed. In fact writing this blog makes me soo darn proud of myself. Seeing the things you've accomplished in the last year is always nice! And that's not including the weight loss!!! But I do know my shrink is telling it how it is.. she sees that I'm not fully living for me.. and as she said, if I don't start putting myself first my weight loss will stop, and I'm gonna end up in another disastrous relationship.. oh my!

Anyone have a suggestion on how to put myself first?? I really need some advice!

You know it's funny.. as I finish up this blog I'm smiling a little more.. I think even writing this was a step in the right direction. I am going to go and get a movie, and make something fab for supper.. 
I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday!!!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Does it Get Much Better Than This?? :)

Well I have to say that this has been a fantastic little week for me!
 Last night I overcame the Pizza Party by drinking TONS of water, and eating the FAB salad I brought! I also brought Cantelope, and a wonderful 4 bean salad.. I came fully prepared, and that saved me from eating and totally disappointing myself!  I planned on eating a cookie after lunch, however; by that time I was so FREAKING proud of myself that I stayed far far away from the BAD food!  I didn't eat anything at the party !! I'm sooo proud of me! :)

I also have to say all my working out this week has also paid off.... I worked out pretty hard, pushing myself harder than I have in a long long time! At times it totally sucked, but I kept envisioning what I want to see happening to me and my body! I was pushed along by thinking of being at my goal weight.. that's a goal that isn't that far away now!!!

And.... now for what you're all waiting for... I weighed in at Weight Watchers today.... and.... 

I LOST ANOTHER 2.8 lbs... THAT'S A TOTAL LOSS OF 12.2 lbs IN 21 DAYS!!!!

I am soo freaking glad to be seeing all of these fantastic results.. seeing the numbers go down sure helps! I can't wait to be back into the 190's!! 

Hope you  are all having such an awesome weekend too!!! 

Friday, January 23, 2009

Carpe Diem.... or not..


Okay so I just had someone come to do another repair on my house (building a house comes with repairs too... thank God they are all covered under warranty!!) and now I'm about to eat my all bran and go off to the gym. 

I don't feel up to doing it today, nor do I want to go to work.. Tonight at work we're having a pizza party, and I'm bringing the cookies.. oh my!! What am I going to eat?? I can't do the pizza and crap thing.. I can't allow myself to cheat, if I do it once, I will constantly do it.. 

So... I'm going to eat up my cereal, head to the grocery store.. and get something I'm gonna love for lunch.. maybe some sushi.. or.. um.. a salad??? oh my... sushi will lead to water retention (you can't do sushi without the soy sauce...)... I can't do this today! I need to eat properly.. I don't want to see a gain on the scale tomorrow! 

Oh my! The things this losing weight thing does to you! LOL.. 

Okay.. so Eat, Grocery Store, Gym, and work.. I can do this... no.. I CAN DO THIS!!! LOL

Wish me luck kiddies! :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Seeing Changes Already!!!!

Good Afternoon kiddies!!!
How is it going for the lot of you? I am having a great week now. I decided to take full control of everything in my life, I'm talking to someone and working on my emotional issues (don't worry.. it's not that bad!) and that's gonna be good.. Like Jillian from the BL always says, you've got to work on your inner issues before your outter issues will be resolved... I think I'm on the right track here!
Yesterday I put on an outfit I haven't been able to wear in some time  because of my extra "Pudge" and it looked good.. I'm already losing inches! I am looking forward to going to the gym today (once I've eaten), and I plan on doing my least favourite machine (the stepper) for at least 20 minutes (that may seem like a short time for most, but for me that will be torture!), and then running on the treadmill for the next 40... I'm really looking forward to it. 
You know when you start seeing results it just keeps pushing you farther and farther along. It's a thrill, a joy, an excitement.  
I really hope you all have such a good day. 

Okay so I didn't post this yet, and now I'm back from the gym, and I did it.. I did 20 minutes on the freaking stepper, and then I did 40 minutes on the treadmill.. I loved every minute of it.. today! LOL

Now it's time to figure out all my food for the day, I think a buffalo chicken wrap is in order.. I am soooo glad that buffalo hot sauce is ZERO points!!! MMMMMMMMmmmmm so that with a WW wrap, and lettuce... it's like a 5 point meal (depending on how much chicken you put it in!)!
I am loving feeling this good today!

Enjoy life Bloggers!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Pulling myself out~!

Good Morning fellow bloggers, 

okay well it's not really morning anymore, it's 1:10 pm, and I am just about to eat some all bran and then head off to the gym. 
I woke up today feeling like a mixed bag of emotions, all I wanted to do was stay in bed with my penguin "hugsy"....  but I pulled myself out of bed and called my dad and chatted for 30 minutes, and knew that today happiness was a choice. I thought of all the blessings I have in my life. All my amazing friends, my wonderful family, and even the few people I have gotten to know on here... and all of a sudden I realized that yes, there are things in your life you just can't control, but what is life without the ups and downs?? There is a passage in the bible (No I'm not going to go thumpin on you... not a bible thumper... sorry!) that says "without the sorrows in life, the joys would not exist." How true that is. I think that we go through trials to remind ourselves how blessed we are and so that we can also truly appreciate the good things that happen to us too!

SO this REALLY SHITTY thing happened... I had nothing to do with it, I was just there when it happened, and there is nothing that I could have done then, nor could do now, that would ultimately change the impact of the situation! SOOOOOOO... there is no reason for me to freak out about it, and worry about it.. and me turning back into miss optimism, I cannot wait to continue on the journey that I've started on. I want to so badly lose more weight, and be happy while doing so. 

Again, losing weight isn't what is going to make me happy, but being happy does help me lose weight. I know the times I've been successful are the times when I was truly happy with my life. 
I can't say that I am happy today, I know I am faking some of it, but I know once I get my bumm to the gym, and push myself there I will feel a satisfaction, and will in turn feel proud of myself, and from this I will feel some happiness... 

I know I will be happy soon.. I'm gonna pull through this, my life isn't as bad as it feels at times. In fact my life is amazing, I just need to remember to not let these things get to me, and not be a worrier. This whole weight loss journey isn't just about fixing the outter me.. but the inner me too... You can't lose weight when you have a lot of emotional issues too.... so... This is something I need to fix... Jillian Michaels is always telling her contestants on the Biggest Loser that they need to deal with their inner demons, to lose the weight.. how true that is!!!

So even now.. I'm finishing typing this email, it's 1:18pm, and I feel soo much better already! I'm excited to start my day, and continue on my journey! 
Thanks to everyone and their support!!!
Take care everyone! :)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Feel very lost....

I had a really rough night last night, something happened that I'm not going to fully disclose, but it ended up with me driving home to my house at 4:30am in a snowstorm.. not a good thing.. I woke up late this morning, around 11, and just wanted to stay in bed for hours.. but I pulled my ass out and knew I had to get something done, otherwise I would stay in all day and feel sorry for myself. Now years ago I suffered from mild depression, which isn't uncommon for a girl in her 20's.. and I know when the symptoms start up again I have to switch mind sets and try my best to put on a happy face and do something I enjoy.. so I decided to work out..... so I shoveled my driveway, and my friend's driveway (who is away due to a death in the family...) and then I went skating with a divine girlfriend.. and now I'm home.. it's 6:34.. and ... this is the scary part... I haven't eaten anything yet.. and I'm not in the mood to do so....
when I'm upset I eat everything in sight.. when I'm happy I eat it all.. when I'm content I eat it all.. but when I'm depressed I eat nothing.. so now I'm trying to figure out what to eat that will require no effort.. I'm falling apart over here.. 
The thing that sucks the most is I had such a great day yesterday, with a wonderful mindset, and all because of one stupid incident I'm lost... I pray I wake up tomorrow morning and can pull my self together and be happy little me again.. 
I really hate putting such negative posts on here, but I think you all know you can't always be so happy go lucky.. in everyone's life a little rain must fall, and the shit will hit the fan, and it really is about how you react to certain situations that makes you who you are.. and I'm the girl that reacts well, but worries lots... 
I know today I won't go over my WW points, but I hope to get at least 50% of them in.. I'm just not there today.. and I worry that because this is me today, tomorrow I will binge, and  that really scares me. 
This all goes back to one of my New Year's resolutions of not letting the small things get to me, this incident was by no means a "small thing" but there is nothing I can do about it, nor was it me that caused the event to occur, so in reality I should be thinking "shit that sucks" instead of " OH MY GOD... What do I do?? " ... grrrrrrrr
Reality really sucks at times doesn't it?? 

My goal for today is to put on some nice jeans and top and go out to the movies, whether by myself or with a friend. Give myself a night out, and enjoy the evening, and remind my self why I love life and love being me.. oh I hope this works! :S

Hope you're all having a better day

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Victory is Mine, and a Change Of Perspective...

Well Ladies and Gents.. I did it.. I lost another 3 lbs (exactly!)... so I am down 9.4!!!! I am soo excited about that.. 
I do know, however, that if I had stayed true to the Weight Watchers way of life, counting all my points and making sure I got all my guideline nutritional *stuff* in, I would have done better, but alas the week is over, I've weighed in, and there is nothing more I can do for that loss! :) 3 lbs is nothing to get upset over!

I have a good idea of what I'm going to eat this week, so I'm going to do the smart thing and make out my grocery list now, that way I will ONLY get what I NEED for these meals, and no little extras.. it's the extras that really kill me. 

Last night at work I had one of my best  friend's boyfriend (who by the way is a total hottie.. oh my!!! Mother may I? wait he's taken.. sigh.. lol.. ) ask me what I had planned for the weekend.. so I told him, weight watchers in the morning, followed by the gym and then who knows... and here is how the conversation continued 

Him "I've been meaning to ask you something, but I didn't want to when there were other people around.. " 

Me    "What's that?" 

Him  "Why are you trying to lose weight?" 

Me  "Because I'm fat and need to lose some"

Him "You're not fat you're F*&$@g beautiful".. 

Me *Blushing* "thanks.... um... so how about the superbowl... " 

Just that one conversation made me think. So he thinks I look hot.. I'm dating a guy who thinks I look hot, my ex thought I was hot.. maybe weight isn't everything.... maybe it's like my Mum told me, that although it's nice to look good, and be healthy, it really is what is on the inside that counts.. and not just being sweet, but having a wicked personality! LOL
I don't think I'm being overly enlightened, but I think it's important to get back to reality and realize, losing weight isn't everything, it's just part of who I am, it's as important as my career, my hobbies, even my favourite shows, but it doesn't, and can't rule my life.. 
ooh I hope I'm making sense... 
All I know is I feel like I can take on the world.. I'm not nearly as horrid looking as I thought and although I am not happy with the way my body looks, I'm okay with it, because I know I will slowly get it to where I want to be!  And in the mean time there are a couple people who think I'm beautiful, and really, what more could a girl want?? :o)

Good luck to everyone, and I hope you all had a great day! :)

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Temptations at the Pumps!

Well I take it that it's that time of year again... What time is that?? 
The time of year that most New Year's Resolutions are broken? Well.. yes, but that's not what I'm talking about.... 
The time of year when you freeze your butt off in the crisp Arctic Canadian air?? Well.. once again you're right, but again, that's not what I'm talking about... 
The time of year Christmas cards are dirt cheap?? Again, you're brilliant, but again, .. not what I'm talking about!!

It's the time of year when after you freeze your bum off at the gas pumps you go into the store to pay and you see the box.. the box that has about 500 Cadbury Cream Eggs staring up at you, begging you to take them home... 

Oh my goodness... How I LOVE Cadbury Cream Eggs!!!! The sugary goodness, the creamy centre.. MMmmmmmm!!!  I salivate just thinking about them!! The way the silky chocolate glides over my millions of taste buds... and once the chocolate caresses them they have their own little ticker tape parade in honour of the pure ecstasy that is Chocolate!!!

Do you know how hard it is to pass up something like that?? It's IMPOSSIBLE.. so impossible in fact that .. I .. . Didn't... I know I feel like I've let someone down (me on Saturday when I weigh in.. and won't have lost a pound...)... SO I bought one.. and I ate it.. and in all honesty I don't feel horrible .. I know I will in the morning.. but for now the sugar is comforting! I have to tell you I Loved every last morsel.. Heck.. I'm still licking my lips.. 

Hopefully no more stumbles this week!
have a great day today!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I'm Very Proud Of Me... Very Proud!!!

I work crazy ass shifts.. I do a day shift of 5:30am until 5pm (most nights, some nights I get out around 4:30pm...) and an afternoon shift of 4:45pm until 4am (some nights I get out as late as 5am....).... this is the norm for 5 days a week.. So when I get home at the end of a shift I usually have a snack. It's usually carbs of some kind. 
Recently they've cut back our overtime, so I actually got off at 2:15 last night, and after chatting with my girlfriend for 30 minutes, got home around 3:15... what did I want to do?? Snack!!! Was I hungry?? NO!!! ... so what did I do??? 

I had to ask myself "Self; Do you want to snack more than you want to succeed?" Umm.. Heck No! "Are you actually Hungry:" ... Umm Heck No! ... so.. I came in the house, put my lunch bag on the kitchen counter, turned out the lights, set the alarm, and went upstairs.. I even shut my bedroom door! Putting myself right to bed was the key! So here I sit almost 8 hours later, and I haven't eaten yet ( I also didn't get nearly enough sleep, but that's another issue...) I'm about to grab some food in about 10 minutes.. and it's going to be food that helps me reach my goal, not something that causes me to stumble! (but oh how I would love french toast with sausages! LOL)... 

Right now I feel freaking great, I have the exact same mindset as I had when I was getting myself gorgeous for my brother's wedding.. I knew those pictures were going to last forever, so I wanted to look unstoppable, so hot that I would make men's hearts melt... and for that one day.. I did! I now want to look like that for more than just the reason that I'm going to be in a picture.. I want to do it .. because I want to be gorgeous in real life! I want to be That Girl, the one that makes a guy look twice, that other girls call pretty.. and actually hate me for it! LOL.. 
Today I have so much freaking motivation that it makes me smile, knowing I have full control of this today! :)

So tonight, when I get home at whatever hour it is, I shall put my lunch bag on the kitchen counter, go upstairs, shower, close my bedroom door... and go to bed!! No More After Work Snacking!!!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm feeling more positive now!

Well I had a hell of a workout.. and talked to my Mum.. she's the best!!!
I can only do what I can do.. and I need to remember that.. I'm not superwoman, and I really try waaaayyyy too hard to please everyone and make people happy.. I need to start putting that amount of effort into pleasing myself, making myself happy, and being the best person I can really be!
I want to be that girl with the smile on her face, that people know is a happy person. I want to be "That Girl" ... the one that everyone loves to be around.. but I need all that inner healing to happen.. and then it'll happen with out even trying.... 

What a journey 2009 is going to be.. I'm looking forward to every step!! :)

Drama makes me want to eat everything...

Okay so I have never been a fan of drama! I work with 400 men.. no women.. and it's great, I never have to deal with all the "girl drama" I don't like the whole "he was looking at you and not me"... and the "what did you mean when you said this..." and so on.. However there is still drama where I work.. I have one guy who is trying to stir crap up.... and after being off for 3 weeks, I now have to Deal With It! Oh my! LOL... so what do I want to do?? I want to eat everything in sight.. but so far I've been great, I just ate a bowl of All bran, and I am about to put on my workout clothes and go to the gym so I don't eat all I see...grrrrrr... 
This is one of my new years resolutions, finding a way not to let things like this bother me.. I'm almost 30 for goodness sake.. things like this aren't that important.. I need to learn to let it roll off my back.. oh.. my .. goodness........... 
I want to cry.. but I won't.. I need to pull myself together before I go back to work today (the snake pit) with the stupid impending drama there....
Believe it or not, I'm not usually the kind of person who has drama in her life.. I need to find a way to let all of this go by without eating up a storm trying to mask my inner confusion with all the food in my fridge.. 
I just need to put on my happy face and smile up a storm, and let it go... 
OH my goodness..... 

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Shocked to say the least!

Well this week I made some good choices, however I still knew that I didn't follow the Weight watchers plan 100%... however this being said, and my small changes (No snacking after supper, and drink water everytime I wanted to snack..) I lost a grand total of 6.4 pounds this week. My working out and good choices helped me out big time!!!!

I'm trying to come into 2009 with a new attitude, more positive, and more smiles. I'm a fairly happy person by nature, however people piss me off! LOL.. sorry, I just don't have a high tolerance for stupidity!  This past week I decided to try to let the small things that used to get to me just roll off my back.. this is much easier said than done! Today at Weight watchers this one woman kept monopolizing the group conversation, and she said that she feels sorry for the state of the world, where we turn to video games for help in losing weight .. mainly talking about the Wii Fit ... I was soo not impressed, as I love my Wii and my Wii fit.. I seriously wanted to say something back, but I held back, had a sip of my starbucks skinny hazelnut latte and let it go! However I do know that I'm not going to like her anytime soon! oh my!  

Well I have a couple of goals for this week now.. Workout at least 6 hours, begin writing in my journal nightly again, and plan my daily food allowance out the day before, instead of as I go along!

I hope this coming week will be as successful as this past one was. I go back to work this week after being off for 3 weeks, so.... I just pray I keep going to the gym and stop the snacking!

Maybe this week I'll lose 4 pounds.. I know I won't see another 6 pound loss.. but I'm very proud of myself for that.. 

My 10% goal for Weight Watchers is 22 pounds, I'm  27% of my way to that 10% goal.. ooh I hope I hit it.. I think I get a key chain for that! :)

I'm about to head out to do some weekend chores, I hope you all succeed this week and hit your goals too!

I'm gonna keep on working on it.... :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Dating .. Confusing!!! LOL

So the date.. how did it go?? Well... we had coffee again. He had to go to work later, and so we didn't have time for anything else. He called me in the morning, and we talked for about 30 minutes before he asked if I was still up to going.. um.. yeah!! LOL.. so he said, I'll be by in 5 minutes to pick you up (he lives in my subdivision...)... I was soo nervous.. I wasn't sure if he would want to come in for a couple minutes or not.. so I put my shoes on, but left my coat in the closet.. he rang the doorbell, and I opened it.. heard the truck running, so knew he wasn't coming in.. he drove us to a close Timmies, and we chatted up a storm.. we had a good time.. and yet.. I just don't know.. Why are boys so freaking confusing?? LOL 

Last night my girls and I decided we were going to go dancing, since we're all still on holidays. So we got all dressed up and went to the country bar down the road (say what you will about country.. line dancing is a great workout!), but there were only about 10 people in there, and at 9 at night there were also children.. so then we decided to go to the dance club for 21 and over.. and there was no one but workers there.. can you say Awkward?? LOL... apparently the snow storm we had last night scared everyone away so.. instead we went to this nice cafe.. and I threw my diet out the window with this big ass piece of brownie cheesecake.. and to tell you the truth.. it wasn't even worth it.. oh my!!!
So today I have to kick my own ass at the gym again.. I didn't fail.. I just tripped on the road to weight loss success.. at least I have a better outlook on it this time.... 
Hopefully today is a better day!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Travelling trauma..

My goodness.. 15 hours in the car.. and I'm beat.. No one should do a 7 hour drive both ways 2 days in a row! However I stuck to my Weight Watchers points and had 2 fairly successful days! 

So the biggest thing that's making me want to eat tonight is.. I have a date tomorrow.. with a guy I really like. We had a coffee date a couple Sundays ago.. before Christmas.. and it lasted for 4 hours, and then he showed up at my friends house on New Years night to wish me a happy New Year.. he met all my friends, and some family.. phew... and he came to a party I had recently with just a few friends over, and met more of my friends.. so I'm getting a good feeling about this guy.. and now I'm nervous as hell and want to eat everything in sight! LOL.. however all I have in sight is healthy food, but still! Why is it that guys make me so freaking nervous?? Yikes!!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Today IS going to be a great day!

Here I sit, having my morning, reduced sugar, oatmeal.. The sun is shining, birds I'm sure are chirping (somewhere.. I have no trees, but I believe somewhere in Ontario there are birds soaking up the rays and singing along....) and I feel great! It's 9:38am .. I went to bed last night at 1:45 am.. and still was out of bed by 6:00am so I could get to the gym!  I had a fantastic work out (Arc Trainer and Recumbent bike.. not my favourite machine!) and really pushed myself! I got home and I was all sweaty... I love being sweaty from working out.. from walking a flight of stairs when I'm not working out.. not so much!  
Now I'm off to leave for my brother's... AGAIN.. lol.. hopefully the trip will prove to be much more successful.. and I know I've done everything I can do to ensure I shall have a great food day! As I stated, I've got my oatmeal cooling down, I've got a grapefruit sectioned and in a baggie for my 11am snack, and I've got a salad, a side of Tuna, and low fat, low calorie balsamic dressing, ready for my 1:30pm pit stop. After that I have a snack of mini rice cakes if I truly need them.... I am very excited for what I believe is the first successful day on the journey to the better me!!!

30 pounds heavier.. oh my!

And this is me .. Just before Christmas, December 2008, in New York City.. 30 pounds heavier.. at 224.2..... Oh my F*&(ing goodness!!!  I can't even look at this picture anymore!!! 
Well I guess the one good thing is.. my hair looks great! LOL

Favourite Pic of Me Ever!!!

Well folks.. this is me .. with my ex.. at my brother's wedding... I lost 30 pounds for the wedding, knowing I was going to be a bridesmaid.. I was at my lowest adult weight at 192.2 pounds... I think I look SLAMMIN' in that pic... 

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Oy.. failed already

Today just wasn't my day.. 
I woke up bright and early and got some cardio in... I ate my eggwhite omelette from the weight watchers cook book (points = 3) and had a grapefruit, and then I prepared myself for the 5 hour car ride to visit my brother and his wife. Then the freezing rain hit. I had some "snacky" things (mini rice cakes and almonds).. but with the poor visibility and horrible driving conditions, my day fell apart.. I stopped at a Tim horton/Wendy's  to get away from the weather and had a whole wheat bagel (I know.. stop gasping!) with light Cream cheese (probably 1/2 a cup of it! man they load it on!).... I was about to return to the road (having driven 130km at this point) when my brother called me and told me that it was even worse where he lives and to just go home (I still had at least a 3hour trip... in good weather.. so probably another 5 in the present conditions...) so I turned around. I returned home 4.5 hours after I began my journey and realized I drove 263km's for a bagel!!!! 
After returning home my girlfriend and her husband invited me over for dinner.. Did we eat healthy?? Ha! Burger and Fries... oh my! Followed by apple crisp...  all my resolve at the beginning of the day.. vanished! I know that with Weight Watchers you have a 35 point allowance every week for treats, but I don't want to lose it.. I want to be that person who has the incredible weight loss..... 

Tomorrow is still a brand new day. I already know I'm going to do an extra 45 minutes at the gym (so a 2 hour work out) first thing in the morning before I leave once more to visit my brother and his wife... I know it now.. tomorrow I am going to be a bitch! lol

New Year.. New Me??

How many times have I said, this is the year I'm going to lose it all??? How many times have I set goals and failed?? .... okay let's not think so much about that.. I know deep down I have to keep in mind how many times I've succeeded. 7 years ago I was pushing the scale at 350... 350lbs!!! Now I'm 126 pounds lighter... but nowhere near where I want to be. I was really happy 18 months ago at my brother's wedding.. I lost an extra 30 pounds for that.. and this past year I gained it all back.. I broke up with my boyfriend, got a promotion, and moved into my brand new house... a lot of stress, and mindless eating, coupled with the fact that I stopped working out when I was with my Ex.. So now here I am.. not so happy with the way I look, but bound and determined to lose it all.. so my goal for this year??? To lose that 30 pounds I gained.. It's definitely doable, they say the average person can lose 2 pounds a week.. at 52 weeks.. crap that's 104 pounds.. so I should definitely be able to lose the 30... 
Now are you wondering what I've done these first 4 days of the year? Well January 1 & 2 I was in bed.. sick.. no it wasn't self induced, I actually started the year with a horrible Sinus cold that knocked me right out.. So I can't really count those in. Yesterday I joined Weight Watchers (AGAIN!!! 3rd time.. yikes!) and met a girl who told me about this website.. I also bought "Dance Dance Revolution" for my wii.. and believe it or not, I had some friends over last night to play.. my goodness I'm bad.. but this morning I played for an hour on my own and was sweating like crazy... So.. that coupled with my gym membership.. I'm praying I can get back into working out, and hopefully be successful...... 
This really isn't going to be easy is it?? 
I think I'm getting exhausted just thinking about all the work that is going to go into this... 
However I believe I'm going to be successful this year.. I don't want to keep saying I want to lose weight.. I just want to do it.. I'm 28 for goodness sake.. No longer a spring chicken.. I want to have kids.. and be healthy when I do so.. and teach them how to also be healthy.. 

How bad is it that as I type this all I want to do is eat some chocolate.. oh my.. this is going to be rough... 
signing off for today. 
wish me luck!!!!!