Just A Bit About Me....

My photo
Kitchener, ON, Canada
Well I'm the typical fat girl that everyone has as a friend. I'm funny, Sexy, Smart, and never a threat. I am on a journey to lose weight ( a lot of it!) and become the best Mummy to my son that I can be!... I'm sure there will be several times I stumble and fall, but follow me as I pick myself up, and continue along my way!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I'm Walking on Sunshine.. Oh Oh!!!

Well this week was incredibly hard, but... I worked through everything. 
I made it to the gym everyday, tried Hot Yoga, spent time with friends, and came out ahead.. 
My goal was to hit the 30 pound mark... 

I lost 3.2 pounds this week... 3.2 pounds!!!!
Sooo happy... 

Are you wondering now if I hit the 30 pound mark?? 
Not only did I hit the mark... I destroyed it!!!!

I'm officially at 31.6 pounds down.. yes I said 31.6 Pounds Down!!!!! Down down down.. that's where I'm going.. and I am so unbelievably proud of myself!!

I don't have much else to say, but I did want to post the amazing results from a week of really hard work. 
I also upped my points by 1 -2 every day. With all the working out I knew I had to do something. So if anyone is struggling to lose weight, but you stick with your daily points.. maybe you should try that... especially if you're working out!
Thanks again to all of you and your support.. you know I love you all!
Cheers to you guys, 
have a great (sunny!!!) weekend!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

My Oh My!!

Well my dear friends, I have had one HELL of a week! 

There isn't too much to say.. I can't go into massive detail.. lets just say the Greek man and I are done. We had a HORRIBLE date on Tuesday, and I can honestly say I can't be bothered thinking about him anymore. 

However this being said.. I know who my darling and dear friends truly are. I have people, people who are my rocks, people who I can rely on, who I can turn to in times of struggle.... they are MY PEOPLE.... 

Tonight I was sitting here, and although I was done my points for the day, I kept thinking about how much I could eat soon, and just binge out. I also thought about how when I was done bingeing I would also purge. I haven't done that in a long time.. and there I was sitting on the couch watching last night's American Idol (yay, glad by the results!), thinking about all these horrible things I could be doing to my body!

Suddenly a voice deep down was like "What the hell are you thinking woman? Why have you worked so hard these past 4 months? Why would you do that to your body, and set yourself back by weeks? Why would you want to screw up your metabolism? Why are you punishing yourself?" ... Out of no where there was this self control.. and you know where that self control was from? It's my weight loss gang. Not only my people, but you people too! If I had sabotaged myself, I would have blogged, and you all would have said what my inner voice had said! 


I'm taking care of myself. I have a plan to go to the gym in the morning, (been everyday this week, even Wednesday when all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and drown in my sorrows!), and then tomorrow night I am going to do Hot Yoga with one of my darling girlfriends!  Have you tried Hot Yoga?? It's freaking amazing! It's pricey (usually about $15 - $20 for a 90 minute session...) but worth every penny. I did it on Monday with my weight watchers buddy Teresa.. I sweated out 2 pounds of water! 2 Freaking Pounds!!!! I felt much healthier and full of less crap! It's supposed to be a detoxifier of sorts.. and I can see why.. if you do try it, make sure you're really well hydrated!!!!!

Anyway I feel good. Despite the fact that this week has been incredibly stressful, and emotional.. Be proud of me.. I did not cry once this week!!!!  I have only been pushing myself daily.. pushing myself to be proud of myself, pushing myself to make other's proud, and pushing myself to make a difference in my own life!

I can't live my life hoping to be made happy by someone else.. I need to make myself happy, and if I meet someone else who I enjoy along the way, well that's a bonus! I'm actually feeling very empowered.. I don't know if I've lost weight this week, but I feel like I made one hell of an effort. 

I just want to say, one blogger wrote about all the things she's thankful for in her blog... I don't want to go into too much, but I do want to say.. I am sooooo thankful for my people, both in my daily world, and in my blogging world!!!
I wouldn't still be on this journey without the support I get from both my Worlds!!!
Thanks guys!
Much love, 

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Thus The Journey Continues....


So today was the weigh in.. I wasn't expecting a big number, but I also wasn't expecting to gain.... but in the end, that's what I did. 

I ended up gaining 0.4 lbs. Which as I know, it isn't a big gain, but it's a gain nonetheless. 

I don't really know why I gained. Perhaps it's because I was overtired all week, and we all know when you don't have the necessary amount of rest, your body doesn't respond to working out. 

I'm feeling let down. I pushed myself this week, or so I thought. I didn't eat anything fun at Easter. I deprived myself many thing.. focussing on the weight loss this week...  I guess it just wasn't my week.  I even worked out every day!!!!! Sunday to today!

So my plan for this week.. lots of sleep, lots of working out, lots of water (I never lack water! LOL), and lots of positive thoughts. 

Power of positive thinking.. it's a real thing~! So I am going to do my best to think good thoughts for next week's weigh in. 

I hope this blog didn't bum anyone out.. I'm just feeling horribly defeated. 
It's time, however, to pick myself up, and put that smile back on my face.. 



Friday, April 17, 2009

Feeling Good Folks!

Hello my friends.. 
I have no idea what to say.. It's been a good week, but I don't know how successful I've been, in regards to weight loss. 
I went to have a fitness assessment on Monday. The girl was really pushing the personal trainers at the gym, and their "12 Week Challenge" where they give you food lists, and you have a personal trainer 3 times a week.... sounds great right? 100% guaranteed results (or your money back)... sounds too good right?? Well when the price tag says a Whopping $3000 you know it is!!!!

So then she has the nerve to tell me how bad Weight Watchers is, how I'm starving myself, and losing tons of muscle. 
So I left there feeling defeated. 
An hour later I thought FUCK THIS!!!
I have to go back in 4 weeks and have her measure me and weigh me and do my body fat test.. I am going to show her that Weight Watchers does work! I am going to show her that I'm not starving myself, and that my muscle isn't going down down down!

So I started doing weights yesterday! I hate the weight room! I am very physical at work. I have to lug around 50lb doors all day long. So.. I thought I was strong, but now I have to prove it!

So I have a 1 month goal.. lose 2% body fat, and gain muscle.. I think I can do that! (I actually don't know how much % of body fat I can lose, but 5 seemed like too big a number!!! LOL)...

So tomorrow is my Weigh in with Weight Watchers, and although I worked out like MAD this week.. I just haven't felt committed to it. I've wanted to cheat so many times, but I haven't.. I just.. just.. just.. want to eat something horrible sooooo badly!!!!!!

Oh my! 
I'm sure I'll be feeling different after my weigh in tomorrow.. shooting for a 1.4 loss... that takes me to the 30 pound mark!

Take care kids, I'll blog again tomorrow!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Weigh in results...

So to answer the question about what I'm reading.. it's the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. I'm on the last book, and I have to say I've LOVED every minute of the books. Please don't post a comment that will ruin the ending for me, or for someone who may decide to read these books. If you haven't read them, I urge you to! They are fantastic. I have encouraged 8 friends to read them, and they all LOVED them too! If you want to see the movie, I'd say watch it first. If you read the book first , you'll hate the movie... sorry, but it's true.. 

So onto the Weigh In... 
Since I lost 4.2 last week I wasn't expecting to lose anything this week. However I surprised myself by losing 1.4 pounds this week! Yay me!
I have 1.4 pounds to lose to hit 30 pounds! I sooo hope that happens this week! I was very well behaved at my family's Easter dinner. I didn't accept any chocolate, and because the fruit salad I made looked so yummy, the family decided to put the cheesecake I made, in the freezer for Mother's day, and we'd all partake of the delicious fruit salad! My brother even wants to attempt weight watchers, he doesn't want to go to the meetings and pay, but he's willing to try to follow the plan on his own! So that's a start!!

This week my WW leader and I discussed my goal.. I can choose any number between 124 and 155, so I chose 140, right in the middle.. Oh My Goodness... 140 pounds.. I don't know if I can even grasp that number!!! I don't know if I will change my mind and chose 145 or 150 instead.. but for now it's 140..  55.6 more pounds to lose.. it feels like a lifetime of weight to lose.. I'm not scared, just anxious. I don't want to fail.  My damn competitive nature is rearing it's ugly head, but this may in fact be a good thing. 

I don't know how long it's going to take me to get to my new goal.. my old goal was 170.. which I think, is what I'm still going to work towards first.. one step at a time!!!!  One goal at a time. I can't wait to be the me I believe I can be. 

It was crazy being home with my family. They all made many positive comments about the way I look. Even my brother told me how great I look.. which.. well he's a guy.. doesn't happen that often (especially when I'm in sweats and a long sleeve tee!)... They were also all very interested in counting points, my brother and his wife had a blast figuring out how many points their big bag of Eggies was worth.. The only person in my family who has to lose weight is my brother. My sister in law is maybe 110 pounds soaking wet.. but it was soo nice to see her encouraging my bro to try this out. 

Maybe by me getting healthy it's going to help him to do so too!

I'm going to go make some supper, hope you all had a wonderful Easter with family and friends.. 

Friday, April 10, 2009

I'm Rock Solid!

Okay so I'm soo freaking proud of myself. Today I spent the day alone. My date had to cancel, for a pretty good reason.... anyway.. So I decided to get all my easter cooking done. 
Now my family has been begging me to make a Toblerone Cheesecake, which for 1/16 of the cheesecake it's 9.5 points.. and that's a small piece!!!! So I've been putting it off like mad..  But I figured Easter is a special occasion, and instead of buying chocolate eggs, I'd do this for them. So I spent the day making that, and the Oreo Truffles my sister in law wanted.. and you know what the best part was? I didn't lick my fingers once! I didn't have a taste, a bite, or a lick!!!! All that chocolate and peanut butter kicking around.. and NOTHING!
To top it off, so I won't kill my self on points, I made the most fabulous Fruit Salad I've ever seen for myself at Easter dinner tomorrow. I can't wait to show them how strong I've become. 

It's going to be hectic, and hard being at home. My family rocks, I really love them.. but they do drive me to eat! So I am determined not to stray. I have already packed my new work out duds, and ipod, so I have NO EXCUSE not to work out!  I am going to eat properly and have a good, nay amazing, healthy weekend. 

Today I got up a little later than I intended and worked out. I then cleaned my house from top to bottom, made all the food, and then sat down with my book. I had a bitchin' day!

Tomorrow is the weigh in.. I would love to hit the 30 pound mark, but I'll be fine with anything, as long as it's a loss. I can't really expect to lose 3 pounds this week, when I lost 4.2 last.  I am just glad I'm back on track. I cannot wait to succeed! Tomorrow I get to talk to my WW leader and discuss what my "Goal Weight" should be. I hope it's not an outrageous number.. maybe around 138.. that seems reasonable, but also out of my reach...  Oh gosh! LOL.. I'm not going to worry about it until I have to!

Well, the oreo's and Tobelerone bars are tucked away downstairs, ready to take to my parents house along with the goodies. I cannot wait to get all this sugar out of my house! 

Hope you all have a happy Easter, and that no one over indulges!.. especially me!
Take care. 

Thursday, April 9, 2009

This has been a rough week. Nothing has happened, I'm just struggling. I went down a point this week, and I didn't think it would be all that bad, but all I've wanted to do all week is SNACK, I have refrained for the most part, but I still can't believe my will power has been shot!

On Saturday I was a pure twinkle toes, I had a dance in my step, I had a song in my heart, but now here I sit, feeling almost defeated. 

I went to the gym Sunday - Wednesday, taking today off for a coffee date with the Cowboy, I actually feel someone energized because I allowed myself the day off. 

I hope that this feeling passes soon. I want to go to the gym tomorrow before I go out on another date, I need to start the day off in a good way so that I don't have the wrong mind set allowing myself to blow the entire week's worth of hard work. Considering Saturday is weigh in day, I must behave tomorrow on Good Friday!

I hope everyone is hanging in there! Hoping you all see the results you wanted to see this week!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Feeling Hot Hot Hot!

Oh .... What do I say?? 

Today was weigh in day........ 
I succeeded! I hit my 25lb goal.. and even SURPASSED it!!! I lost 4.2 pounds this week! 

That takes my weight loss total to a whopping 27.2 POUNDS!!!!!!

And best of all, I've entered One-Derland again! I'm at 197.0 Pounds! Oh how joyous I am at this very moment!! I honestly could sing an ode to Weight Watchers right now! I love everything about it. The members, the leader, the community of support!

I am so proud of myself. So next week I am hoping to hit 30 pounds. Which, some of you may know from my previous blogs, is my October goal! How am I succeeding like this? I feel like the weeks I don't think I'm going to lose I have a bigger number, and on the days I think I'm gonna kick ass, I have the smallest loss, or even a gain!

So because I succeeded I decided to treat myself. In the past I would have treated myself to some delicious food.. Today I decided to buy myself a new work out outfit! I have never worn anything so form fitting to the gym, but I am looking forward to wearing it tomorrow. I may put a zippy overtop, but I'll still be wearing it!

I can't believe I'm doing so well. I feel like "I'm on top of the world, sitting on a rainbow....." I just don't know if I could be any happier!  Doesn't it just make you sick when someone is so ridiculously happy?? LOL 

I can honestly tell you; if I can succeed, anyone can. I lose motivation like the best of them. I'm fairly thankful right now that I have such a competitive spirit. That's the only thing that keeps me pushing myself as hard as I am!

I hope everyone is having an inspired week. I hope this good fortune continues for me. I go back on afternoons this week, which is always a struggle food and exercise wise. 
Take care, 
keep on blogging!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Okay, well.. 12 hours until the weigh in... 

My mind is RACING! Full of questions.. 
How did I do? 
Did I work hard enough?
Did I hit my 25 pound goal?
Am I out of the 200's?

Deep breaths Kirst, deep breaths. 

This picture is a bit of inspiration. It was taken 2 days before my brother's wedding. The only girl in it that I like.. is my best friend. She's the one in green on the far left. The rest are my brother's wife (second from the right) and her friends..  I was a slammin' 194 lbs at this point... I was tanned, in a new relationship, and happier than I've been since.. well I'm happy again... but it took me almost 18 months to get back to it.. 

Other than weight what was it that made me so unhappy?? I hate to say this.. but it really was my ex... when he and I first got together every thing was amazing. He was full of life, with goals, and dreams. One of the most ambitious people I'd met... and then.. it changed. He became very lazy, lost interest in succeeding via work.. He put on 40 pounds, quit all jobs he had, and began to rely on me for his happiness, and depended on me financially. I came to a breaking point when I began to build my house and he declared he was moving in with me. Having a brand new house was going to be hard enough already, but adopting a 27 year old Mooch who's mother said I wasn't good enough for her boy.. well that wasn't going to happen. How horrible it is to have the mother of the man you love (sorry.. boy) tell you you aren't good enough.. I was too good!

I've had to take a couple steps back recently, since I began dating again.. I had to realize what I deserved.. I deserve love, kindness, compassion, energy, and .. the world. 
I am not looking for someone to put me on a pedestal, but for them to adore me.. as I adore them.. 
The cowboy didn't work out. He didn't have time for me, and I do believe he isn't ready for a relationship, however, the guy I went out with last week is amazing. Now please don't think I jump from man to man.. this isn't so. New guy (Let's call him Greek; because he is!) and I have been chatting for over 3 months! We know a lot about each other. He calls me every day and we chat for at least 30 minutes. Everything about our "first date" (I call it our first date, he said that we've been talking so long that it's like our 10th...) was perfect.. As soon as I saw him I gave him the biggest hug in the world, didn't feel awkward whatsoever! He brought me a gift (okay I don't mean he had to bring me something, but it was soo sweet.... ) ... while we've been talking he had a trip to Hong Kong.. and while there he saw a necklace he thought I'd love and got it for me. We ended up talking until very late, and he gave me a terrific kiss!!! 

So now that I'm dating dating, I know how I need to be treated, I know how I need to feel, and I know that I can't rely on a man to make me happy, but I also cannot allow him to make me unhappy!

Does any of this make sense? 
Okay then.. I want to lose 2 pounds this week! LOL
Have a great night guys, and I will let you know how I did!