Just A Bit About Me....

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Kitchener, ON, Canada
Well I'm the typical fat girl that everyone has as a friend. I'm funny, Sexy, Smart, and never a threat. I am on a journey to lose weight ( a lot of it!) and become the best Mummy to my son that I can be!... I'm sure there will be several times I stumble and fall, but follow me as I pick myself up, and continue along my way!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Running the Pounds Away!!!

Well, I'm not really a Couch Potato of sorts, but I'm doing the couch to 5K training program. I just started today.. 

It's not hard at all! Week one consists of 3 days of the same work out. 
Brisk walk for 5 minutes.. then alternate 60 seconds of jogging, with 90 seconds of running for a total of 20 minutes. 

I pushed myself past the 20 minutes, deciding to keep up this alternating until I hit 5km's. So I ended up jogging/walking for 45 minutes, 26 seconds.. felt freaking amazing!

If I can do this, anyone can. Go at your own pace, if you find that you can't run for 60 seconds, then start with 30 second intervals!

I never thought I'd be a runner, but I have always wanted to be one, and I'm hoping this program will help me achieve that small dream of mine!

I think I needed to switch up my workouts a bit too. I'm at a Mudder Trucker Plateau right now.. Grrrr Arggg.... and I need to get it to lift NOW! LOL

If anyone else wants to try this program go to .. www.c25k.com It's a great little program. Let me know what you think!

I have to go eat!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I need a cookie....

Well here I am... being the typical generations X'er (even though I think I'm like Genration Y.. I'm an 80's baby....) Sitting in the glorious sun, outside a starbucks, drinking a green tea (1/2 sugar) lemonade, and blogging.. 

I feel like the weight loss gods have gotten together, and drop kicked me... or at the very least, kicked me in the crotch!

I worked out 5 times this past week, sweating more than is acceptable for a prissy gal like myself.. I haven't cheated, I didn't eat  the pizza I was craving, or the chocolate, or the cake, or the starbucks cookies... 

Weigh in was yesterday... 

Not impressed... 

I F*&King GAINED 0.4 pounds this week.. 

Okay now before you can say "it's only 0.4 Kirsti" think about how you feel when you gain 0.4, or 0.6, or even 0.2... it's still a kick in the junk!!!

Now I do need to remind myself that in February I had a similar kinda month... I lost 1.0  pounds 2 weeks in a row, and then I gained that exact amount back for the following 2 weeks... 

so this may just be how my body works.... I'm not happy about it, but if I do everything I know how to do, if I eat exactly within my daily points, and get a proper amount of sleep.. I can't get mad at myself.. so instead I get angry with the weight loss gods...

grrr fucking arggg!


Monday, May 18, 2009

Just a quickie....

Okay sorry about the pic.. but that one makes me laugh.. that's some safe sex there! haha

Anyway So I just wanted to blog quickly. I am still horribly sick, the camping wasn't so bad. I was in a heated RV, and dressed warmly and took my medicine. I do know that if I had stayed home in bed I would have gotten better by now.. yikes!

So the weigh in was on Saturday, and surprisingly I didn't gain, nor did I lose. I stayed the exact same. 

I'm slightly pissed though. I haven't really lost anything this month at all. I need to get back on the wagon and kick ass this week. However it's almost Monday evening and I haven't eaten well in days! I have been on sodium overload.... eating quick and easy meals.. and now I feel like my stomach is full of junk!

Yikes.. Head is back in the game.. Tomorrow I'm back at the gym.. and my Weight Loss Journey will Continue!

hope all is well with the rest of you!

Friday, May 15, 2009

I've Got Chills, They're Multiplying..

So I've been having a hard time with work outs this past week, and finally on Thursday I found out why.. 

I awoke on Thursday morning, couldn't swallow at all, my head was pounding... I had felt a tad under the weather before Thursday, but just believed it was because it was so dry at work. 

When I woke up in such a state I immediately called my doctor. I NEVER go to the Doctor..  only to get my birth control renewed, or for my annual. So they got me in A.S.A.P....  My doctor asked the usual questions, and I responded honestly.. fever ? No.  Sore throat? yes. Ear Ache? Actually yes. So she then went to hear my breathing. I was having a horrible time taking a deep breath.. and she said, "holy cow, you're very hot, you have a terrible fever"... Oopsy! I should have realized  that it was the first time in weeks I wasn't cold. Then she looked in my mouth, she said, you have strep.. then she looked in my ears, and turns out I have a double ear infection too! Also did I mention I was vomiting in the office, so I have a stomach flu too! OH MY GOODNESS!

So needless to say I haven't worked out since Tuesday, I haven't been counting my points, because I have only been eating soup and drinking coffee (who knew coffee was good for ear infections? Thanks Mr. Pharmacist!).. So who knows what the scale is going to reflect tomorrow. 

I emailed my weight watchers leader.... Told her how defeated I felt... she ordered me to realize I am not invincible, and to feel free to ask for help any time I feel weak. I can't always be the strong one for the other girls at weight watchers. I have a horrible time admitting that I need help, that I'm weak, that I've been defeated... Thank God for Nancy.. she's my angel, and because of her I was able to give up this week, and realize it's out of my control. 

I don't know how I'll do tomorrow, but in all honesty I don't care. I know I am a strong woman who will bounce back from this. 

I probably won't be able to post tomorrow, I am headed to the States to spend the Canadian Long Weekend (Victoria Day AKA May 2-4, in celebration of Queen Victoria) at Darien Lake in  New York State.. I hope I can go there and still get better.. we're camping out! Lord help me.. but at least I have the good drugs!

I need to go to bed.. and try to nurse myself back to health before the morning.. Maybe going to work and trying to push through this wasn't a smart idea.. my doctor told me to stay home, but I feel the pressure of the responsibilities I have.. see can't admit defeat!

Take care everyone... I'll post my results soon! 

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Joyful Joyful..

Okay so the big news??

 I didn't gain!!!!

Can I get a Woot Woot??

I am ridiculously happy that I didn't gain an ounce!


I ended up losing 0.2 pounds.. and you know what.. I'm okay with that.. I see it as a step, a very tiny one perhaps, but a step nonetheless, in the right direction!

My girlfriend who attends Weight Watchers with me, ended up hitting her goal today. She lost a total of 20 pounds. I must say I am so proud of her, but at the same time I'm jealous. If I only had had 20 pounds to lose.. ahh how nice would that have been? I've lose more than 50% more than that, and know that when all is said and done I'll have lost about 80 pounds! Oh my goodness.. makes my goal seem all that much farther away.. but I shan't focus on that.. I am so proud of her, and today I must remember that she worked just as hard to lose that 20 as I am to lose my 80!

I have to jaunt over to my parent's house..  I do look forward to going home, and at the same time.. I don't...  YIKES! There is just so much stress with going home. First of all, my bank account is horribly low, and my credit card is horribly high.. so that's no fun.. it's Mother's day, so I suppose we'll be expected to go out for Mother's day brunch tomorrow.. now usually I pay, but after building my house this past year, and furnishing it, and losing all my over time.. well lets just face it.. Kirsti doesn't have a whole lot of money! So there's the financial aspect.. then there is the food aspect.. there is always a crap load of bad food around.. I'm hoping that I can resist whatever is put out!
Then there is my transportation issues.. my wonderful baby is sick (that's my car folks....) and so since she's ill, she's in the car hospital.. now I have full faith that Lexi will pull through, the doctors just don't know what's wrong with her right now.. she's a toddler, only 2 years old, so she should be strong enough.. and since they can't diagnose her properly, they got me a rental, and it's BIG and UGLY.... they got me a freaking red PT Cruiser.. sorry if you love those cars, but it's SOOOO not me.. I have a black sporty car... love it! lol.. the only good thing about the PT Cruiser, it matches my red blackberry! lol.. but anyway the reason this is an issue.. it has a crappy stereo, and... no sun roof... OMG! LOL.. and it's a GAS GUZZLER! Soo not happy about this, but until my baby is well again.. I'll have to deal with this one.. 
*side note... total fluke with my car.. it's an amazing car, and a wonderful make and model.. not usual.. please don't feel like I'm giving you a testimonial about the car company!*

Anyway so I hope you're all doing well.. I'm hoping to push on into the 180's next week.. only need to lose 1.1 or more!!! :)
Keep your fingers (and toes, and eyes, and tongue, and legs and arms, and.... ) crossed for me!!!
Have a fabulous weekend kiddies!

Friday, May 8, 2009

um.. good morning?

Well hello there, it's morning time, it's 5:28am to be precise... 

I get up every morning at 3:30am, and go to the gym, I leave the house by 4am, get to the gym about 4:15am, work out until 5;30am, and then shower and leave for work... this week I've done it twice, and worked out after work once.. I've been tired!

I don't know what it is, but I feel like someone has been kicking my ass, I'm soo damn tired all the time.. could it be the weight loss? Is my body rebelling? 

Gosh! I hate feeling like a whiny baby, I just don't understand where the motivation has gone.. now don't get me wrong, I already have my gym bag packed for tonight, but I just feel like I could have made such a difference this week.. 

I'm prepared for a gain this week, I've got it in my head that I am going up on the scale, and I hate it, but I can't sit here and cry about it when I KNOW I have done it to myself.. I haven't put in the effort the last 2 weeks that I needed to.. so you know what.. it's still a new month.. I can start over again today, tonight, tomorrow! I will be able to turn it around and get back to Motivational Me!

Sorry for this horrible early morning post... I still was able to plant a smile on my face for the pic.. (don't mind the no make up look! LOL) .... I need something today... 

I'm going for coffee with one of my Weight Watcher girls today.. maybe she can do something to jump start me again.. or maybe I need to not depend on someone else and just kick my own ass back into shape!

I hope everyone has a fabulous day and can ignore me and my rant! LOL

Take it easy, I'll post again tomorrow after my Weigh In!! Yikes! (it's gonna be okay!)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Yikes! This week is going to the dogs!!!

What a week, what a week.. 

So where do I start? 
How about Saturday night.. it was a night full of carnage, from the drinking, to the eating, and back again.. and yet.. I didn't go waayy overboard.. but I still did more than I would usually do, but it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I figured I'd just do it.. 

well that was mistake #1.. the salt in the food made me balloon up.. I know I am STILL retaining water.. the scale at the gym says I've gained 6 pounds!!! 6 FREAKING POUNDS! I am hoping that scale is out of whack, and that I can work out enough and drink enough water that the carnage won't have an effect on Saturday's weigh in!

mistake #2.. well it wasn't a mistake.. I went on a BAD FIRST DATE last night.. the guy is head over heels for me.. seriously.. on the first date he was talking about what our CHILDREN will look like.. yes that's right.. here I am contemplating whether or not I want to go on another date with the guy, and he's picking out names! YIKES!!!

Next work wanted me to be on day shift again this week.. they called me at home on friday night.. I was supposed to be on afternoons.. so I cancelled my doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for since OCTOBER 2007.. YES 2007! I also cancelled a dental appointment, a massage, and put off landscaping my front walkway and flowerbeds... and then work has the nerve to tell me 4 hours into Monday that on Tuesday I'll be back on afternoons.. HECK NO TECHNO is the nicest way I could tell them there wasn't a hope in Hell I'd be doing that.. so here I am still on day shift, working away at a special project that was technically finished on Monday.. can you say BORING?

Then my car decided to go to poopy world.. it keeps stalling and having a hard time to speed up to 50 km/hr (that's about 30 miles per hour for you Americans!)... so my fuel pump is gone.. now because it's still under warranty they say they can't fit it in until next Thursday (I called last friday.. and it was going to be a 13 day wait?? WTF?? ) .. they won't give me a loaner, but offered to call the rental car company for me.. and I'd be paying.. WTF? So I called a different Toyota dealership, and no problemo, they are going to come pick my car up from work tomorrow and fix the damn fuel pump while I work away .. and deliver it back for me by the time I'm done work.. Thank God, but let me say.. driving it right now is scary as hell! It's only 2 years old, and purely a fluke.. toyota's don't break down.. I love them!

And now the icing on the cake.. I feel fat, and bloated, and my monthly visitor is mega late.. but I know I'm not preggers.. I haven't done the thing in which you need to do to get preggers in a VERY LONG TIME!!! LOL

Wow crazy venting blog.. sorry guys!
I have stayed faithful with my food since saturday, and cannot wait to get back to the gym again tomorrow!
Hope someone out there is having a less Yikes worthy week than I! 
p.s .. that's my parents dog Fergie in the pic.. full name Ferguson McTavish.. lol... who knew we'd have a scottish puppy! LOL

Saturday, May 2, 2009

So happy I could kiss a sea horse!

I have nothing to say.. I am purely stumped. 
How did I lose this week? 

I was so nervous, so stressed, and so worried about losing weight that I was doing some self sabotaging, and now here I sit.. 1.6 pounds lighter!!!! I am at my lowest weight ever with 191.2 (it kept bouncing between 191.0 and 191.2 so I told her I'd take the .2 instead, that way I can lose more next week! LOL)... I'm gonna be a rock star in no time.. okay maybe not a rock star, but I am gonna be in the 180's soon.. oh my! Soo exciting.. not scared anymore! 

I am soo damn proud of myself, and now I feel like queen of the world again!

I am in a huge rush, my brother is coming over today, he hasn't been to my house since just shortly after it was built, so it's been about 5 months! Can't wait to have him all alone, away from his wifey (love her, but I need some brother time!).. 

I hope everyone has a super fantastic week, 
try something new for a fitness activity. 
I will blog again soon!


p.s picture is me and Mr.SeaHorse at the Toronto Zoo last year.. and no, there isn't a Mrs SeaHorse!!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009

A Myriad of Nothing...


I've had another shitty week.. lots of stress... but no drama thank the lord!
I was on "Special Project" team this week at work. We basically had to take a square peg and fit it into a much smaller round hole.. 
So I've been bad with working out, and bad with food.. WTF? 

I realized after my last blog that I was at my LOWEST ADULT WEIGHT!!!
Now for some people that may have motivated you to work hard, and eat right.. but for me.. nope.... 
Instead I got scared.. I kept thinking.. Shit I'm actually succeeding... now what if I lose all the weight, and then gain it all back.. This pathetic little voice in the back of my head spurring me on.. trying to get me all riled up.. and when you think about it.. that's soo sad.. because that's just my insecurities talking.. 
So I started back on track on Wednesday, knowing I had gained some weight, most likely water weight, and worked out really hard.. but I'm still over tired and just got a bomb dropping email from an ex and now I feel like a piece of junk.. 

Why is it that I can be SOOOOO strong when it comes to everything in my life, except weight and men?? 

I need to get a mind change. I need to remember I'm worthy. I'm worth the effort to be thin, beautiful and happy. 
I'm worth being treated like gold. 
I'm worth it.. 

Weigh in tomorrow. You know I'll be back to blog.. 
until then..