I had a really rough night last night, something happened that I'm not going to fully disclose, but it ended up with me driving home to my house at 4:30am in a snowstorm.. not a good thing.. I woke up late this morning, around 11, and just wanted to stay in bed for hours.. but I pulled my ass out and knew I had to get something done, otherwise I would stay in all day and feel sorry for myself. Now years ago I suffered from mild depression, which isn't uncommon for a girl in her 20's.. and I know when the symptoms start up again I have to switch mind sets and try my best to put on a happy face and do something I enjoy.. so I decided to work out..... so I shoveled my driveway, and my friend's driveway (who is away due to a death in the family...) and then I went skating with a divine girlfriend.. and now I'm home.. it's 6:34.. and ... this is the scary part... I haven't eaten anything yet.. and I'm not in the mood to do so....
when I'm upset I eat everything in sight.. when I'm happy I eat it all.. when I'm content I eat it all.. but when I'm depressed I eat nothing.. so now I'm trying to figure out what to eat that will require no effort.. I'm falling apart over here..
The thing that sucks the most is I had such a great day yesterday, with a wonderful mindset, and all because of one stupid incident I'm lost... I pray I wake up tomorrow morning and can pull my self together and be happy little me again..
I really hate putting such negative posts on here, but I think you all know you can't always be so happy go lucky.. in everyone's life a little rain must fall, and the shit will hit the fan, and it really is about how you react to certain situations that makes you who you are.. and I'm the girl that reacts well, but worries lots...
I know today I won't go over my WW points, but I hope to get at least 50% of them in.. I'm just not there today.. and I worry that because this is me today, tomorrow I will binge, and that really scares me.
This all goes back to one of my New Year's resolutions of not letting the small things get to me, this incident was by no means a "small thing" but there is nothing I can do about it, nor was it me that caused the event to occur, so in reality I should be thinking "shit that sucks" instead of " OH MY GOD... What do I do?? " ... grrrrrrrr
Reality really sucks at times doesn't it??
My goal for today is to put on some nice jeans and top and go out to the movies, whether by myself or with a friend. Give myself a night out, and enjoy the evening, and remind my self why I love life and love being me.. oh I hope this works! :S
Hope you're all having a better day
xo
I cannot relate to losing my appetite, because with issues with anxiety of depression I get HUNGRY! I can say though that you must eat! Even if you just get a yogurt or something small in you must force yourself to do it! This might be one of those times a smoothie would be a good idea. If you can't do the meal thing, drinking something with a higher calorie content might help you at least get some nourishment in!
ReplyDeletePlease keep updating as you deal with this. You do have support here.
I hope what ever has you down gets better soon. Please keep yourself a priority and try to eat healthy. It might make the transition through whatever is wrong easier. I totally eat crap when I'm depressed so I really don't know what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteI also know what putting negative posts out there is hard. I can see a completel change in the number of comments I get from a happy post to a negative post.
Good Luck girl! Keep your chin up!