So here I sit, thinking about my Dad.. wondering WHAT life would be like IF he were still alive. Would I be different? Would I have struggled so much with my weight? Would I have finished University? Would I be married with kids?
My weight problems began shortly after my Dad passed away. I was always the kid that wanted candy and sweets when I was growing up, but once my Dad passed it was where I found my comfort. Kids were cruel, but food wasn't. It was always there to make me feel better.. it was my friend. It didn't disappoint, it didn't judge.. it just provided the warmth...
Today I'm feeling it, I'm not crying, but I would love to buy a big bag of Mini Eggs *mmm chocolate* and sit at home eating.. but I won't. I went for a sensible lunch (pita pit!) and have just made a yummy chicken stir fry for my dinner at work tonight..
I don't know what's making the difference right now, or how I have the motivation to push past my cravings, but I'm doing it...
I'd like to think that if my Dad were still alive he'd be proud of me. I think he'd look at what I've accomplished, where I've been, who I've become and smile.. knowing that I grew up right...
Now if only I could look at myself the same way...
One step at a time.. this journey continues...
xoxo
I was 28 when my mom died. Seemingly overnight I gained 50 pounds. I'd come home from work and eat ice cream cones and watch home improvement shows on TV--that was my mind numbing comfort.
ReplyDeleteI personally believe that our loved ones are aware of what's going on and are proud of us.
I'm sorry for your loss. I think your dad would want you to be proud of yourself.