Wow... I can't believe I'm back here again.. back in the high 230's.. how on earth did I let this happen.. I mean HOW?
I was off work for 5 months.. and I know that I can attribute 20lbs to that horrible time.. it was stress leave, and so between the self medicating, and the actual medication I know that I gained that then..
Now I sit here in my bed room.. looking at a closet full of clothes I cannot wear.... looking at a body that I am so uncomfortable in all I want to do is cry..
What do I do?
Weight watchers again??... still??? Yikes... or do I do the drastic Body By Vi? I have enough of that for a 90 day challenge.. but I just didn't do well on it last time.. oh yikes...
I'm scared.. this downward spiral isn't healthy... where will I be in a year? A year ago I was 40 pounds lighter... 40 freaking pounds! I can't keep going like this...
The one truly bright light in my life is I have a loving boyfriend, who although he met me at my lightest, still thinks I'm beautiful now.. God bless him!
I keep trying to figure out where I was 3 years ago that aided me in my weightloss and I remembered the accountability I felt by blogging..
I will do my best to get back on here weekly... if not more frequently..
Who knows.. perhaps this time I'll lose it all again and it's gonna last.... I pray to God that I can...
For now I'm going to go down stairs.. and fret over what to eat... food... or shake?
Until next time...
xoxo
Just A Bit About Me....
- Laughing Girl
- Kitchener, ON, Canada
- Well I'm the typical fat girl that everyone has as a friend. I'm funny, Sexy, Smart, and never a threat. I am on a journey to lose weight ( a lot of it!) and become the best Mummy to my son that I can be!... I'm sure there will be several times I stumble and fall, but follow me as I pick myself up, and continue along my way!
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I'm sorry for bombarding your blog but I feel like I can really relate! I've gained 50 pounds in 2 years, a total of 80 pounds overweight. I've always struggles with being heavy but I've just since college because obese. Ugh I hate that word.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm happy to support you in this journey. I think we both have about the same distance to go. I'll keep sending you positive waves of encouragement. Keep at it and just stop thinking of this as a diet. This is your lifestyle change to get healthier for life.