I've been re-evaluating myself, and my friendships recently. My best girlfriend and I haven't said more that a couple words to each other since July 1st... and the only reason those words were shared was because we both happened to be at the dog park at the same time.. and it was awkward! .... So that really really sucks....
Another girlfriend of mine was becoming one of my best friends (I have a couple girls that I would say are my best friends...) until an event based around her came and went, and suddenly I was of no use to her anymore.. I was supposed to go to a cottage with her, and I was uninvited due to space issues... in the last week she's texted me once.. It was my holiday week... so it would have been nice if my plans hadn't fallen through.. 2 days before we were supposed to go.....
Another girl and I were supposed to go for drinks and spend a day on a patio, but she "forgot" all about it... and then after we rescheduled, she ended up being too busy...... hmmm
There are a couple more things happening.. misunderstandings, hurt feelings and such...
So everything.. the culmination of everything.. makes me feel like I'm just a lousy friend, or an easy throw away friend.. I would do anything for my friends.. and I mean anything... so why is it that when all is said and done at the end of the week I sit home alone and watch movies with my cat... hoping beyond hope that someone will text me and want to connect with me..
I know that communication works both ways.. but how many times can I text someone first? Why am I always the one that is always the one who has to put it all out there, and do all the work in a relationship..
Grr.. I think I'm just overly lonely and feeling so pathetic.... I think it's time for a bike ride to clear my head...
If anyone wants a friend, you know where to find me.. lol
xoxo
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