I'm a loser, but it's a good song!

Oh my goodness.. 

I just realized how FREAKING close I am to getting back into the 100's, or as some of my friends call it.. One-derland !!! I am being very dedicated and diligent this week. I am eating a lot of fish, and no carbs after lunch. I pray it works.. 

My goodness to be 199 would be terrific, to know I conquered the milestone of breaking free from that blasted 2 at the beginning of my weight!  I feel like I'm on top of the world today! I can do this!!!

People are starting to notice my weight loss, is there anything better than that? I feel so renewed and rejuvenated!  I cannot wait to be in the 190's... and to hit the 180's, I don't remember the last time I saw those! I was probably 12 or 13~!!!!

But I will be there soon enough~ :)

I am going to be extremely gay and post a song on here. I heard it in the car today and realized it was perfect for all of us trying to lose weight.. talking about the struggles, about the goal... if only it weren't by Miley Freaking Cyrus!

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying 

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it 

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah

Keep on Moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby 

It's all about , It's all about the climb

Okay so now I feel VERY DIRTY, I need to go take a shower! LOL.. 

Hope you all have a successful week!

xoxo

I DID IT!! 10% Goal Achieved!

YAY!!! I DID IT!!!

I did it!! I finally did it!!! How happy am I? I ended up losing 1.8 pounds this week! I am very happy with that! My total is now at 23.0 pounds! I can't even put into words how good this is for me. This will be the push I need to continue!!! 

I am so excited that I got the key chain! I have my keys on it already, it's going to be a constant reminder, I can do this, I will do this! I'm so pleased I set a 30 lb goal for this year, I think I will meet it, and exceed it. How amazing would it be to hit my October 2010 goal, by this October ? I am going to keep the small goals in mind.. so my next goal is the big 3-0!!! I can do this.. oh my gosh.. I really CAN DO THIS! I'm so pleased with myself right now I could dance!

I don't think I could have done this without one of my best girlfriends, Teresa. She has been my source of strength, pushing me when I want to quit, pulling me when I want to stay home, and cheering me on when I have a fab week! The girl is my rock right now, I only wish I was the same for her! It's amazing when you realize how lucky and fortunate you are to have such an amazing person in your life. She was so confident that I would hit my goal this week that she gave me a wonderful card, that says such beautiful things, all her words, and that is worth more than anything else! 

Well I have a date tonight, and I really want to hit the gym now so, I am going to bid adieu for now!

Take care everyone, and thanks for all the support and motivational comments!

xoxo

Yikes!

Yikes... 

Yikes.. 

YIKES!!!!

Tomorrow is the weigh in.. I'm 0.8lbs away from my 10%.. am I going to hit it?? I've been SOOOO damn good this week! I better! 

I have a hot date tomorrow night, he wanted to go out tonight, but I was SOOO paranoid about what I'd eat on the date. No guy wants a girl that only has a salad with chicken on the first date! I know he likes wine, and steak, so I'm glad I switched it to tomorrow! 

I just spent the last hour trying on different outfits, I have NO idea what I am going to wear.  This guy is sweet, funny, kind... but he's not the cowboy ... maybe that's a good thing.. maybe I need someone else.. Cowboy doesn't have a lot of time for me.. I don't need all his attention, but I'd like to know he's into me... he tells me he is, but if he really was wouldn't he go out of his way to go out with me?? Hmmmm... Somebody needs to shit or get off the pot! LOL

I am petrified I'm not going to hit my 10%,  but I really shouldn't be.. 

Hell I've lost 21.2 pounds in 11 weeks, that's just about 2 pounds a week, which is fantastic! I pray that I continue succeeding,  I've been wanting to give up and get bad food soo many times, I allow myself cheats on Saturdays, but I don't crave the food then... I crave it on Monday, and so all I think about all week is that Big ass burger, or Chocolate cake... and then I go Waaayyy overboard on Saturday, trying to finally feed my craving! Messed up huh? 

Anyway, I shall update you tomorrow on what happens!

Think light thoughts for me!

:)

xoxo

Not feeling it... read to the end.. there is some drama in there!

Okay kiddies, 

First of all I am very sorry that I've waited so long to post! I don't know what's gotten into me.. I come here daily and read everyone's posts, I just couldn't summon the energy to do one myself.. 

I'm not feeling it tonight. Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling the eating properly.. I'm feeling the working out, I'm feeling the losing weight.. I'm just not feeling something and I can't put my finger on what it is.. 

I've been working myself out really hard... Today was a easier work out, only because I did a ton of squats and the DAMNED stair climber yesterday, and now I am in huge pain! I shall go to the gym again tomorrow as planned, so that equals 6 out of 7 days, ....... *sigh*... hope it pays off this week! 

I changed up my foods this week, I am back to eating salad for 2 meals (with at least 4 oz of protein, whether it's fish or chicken)... and I have upped my veggie intake. Will I see positive results? Or will I be disappointed again.. okay disappointed is the wrong word, but I just wish the results were bigger, and I was at my 10% goal already!  This will give you an idea. Egg white omelette for breakfast, yogurt and oatmeal at break, salmon and salad at lunch, almonds and cottage cheese at another break, and now chicken breast with brussel sprouts and salad for supper.. (there was also some soy milk in there too.... and carrots... ).... good good girl!

OH MY GOD THIS IS A BORING ASS BLOG!!!! My apologies! 

Okay so here's a great drama mama story... 

Recently a guy that I have known for years (he was my first date, and kiss.. ever... !!!) and I have been chatting up a storm... when I was going through a hard time with my ex last year, this fellow took me out for a pitcher of beer and we just talked, all plutonic. However when my ex and I broke up, this fellow and I rekindled our flame a bit.. So anyway he went and got a girlfriend in November, so we chatted less, until 2 weeks ago, when he told me they had broken up and he hoped we could go out. So I told him I'd mull it over, realizing my cowboy may never realize how into him I am, I agreed to go out with this dude. So I sent him a birthday wish via text message last week. No response.. hmm strange.. 2 days later I got a text asking "who is this"... not so strange (he shares his cell with his father, it's a work cell, so I figured his dad deleted my number, or was the one who was texting me.), so I texted back "it's kirsti silly".. no response.. so an hour later I texted "I take it that's not the answer you were hoping for! lol" ... 

So on Sunday I was sitting in my house with my girlfriend, and he phoned.. I giggled and told her who it was, and took the call. . here is how the call went.. 

Him in Red Me in Green

"Kirsti?"

"Yes"

"It's Stephen"

"Hey there! How are you?"

"Kirsti I need to talk to you"

"um.. Okay..."

"Kirsti I've been lying to you..."

"uh.. Okay...?"

"Remember the girl I was dating?.... I'm still with her"

"Oh!"

"And actually, we're engaged"

"Uh...."

"And..." (Interrupted by me here...)

"Well Stephen, you know what this means? Our friendship is over."

Click!

So to all you married, engaged, or taken men out there... Stop trying to make me your homewrecker!!!

Oh and BTW... strange text asking me who I was.. that was his fiancee! I'm thinking he's in some shit now! Good!

Maybe this is why I'm feeling off.. I just don't know. .. ... ... 

Oh well.. tomorrow may be better!

Got a date this weekend with a Greek boy! Hmmm... I'm really looking forward to it!

Take care, I'll post again soon! 

xoxo

Well, I'm a blonde again!!! Just so you know we really do have more fun! LOL.. and yup I got my hair cut today, I'm back to my old look, of shorter in the back, and angular in the front, it's freaking sexy as hell on me, loving it! :)

So today was the weigh in.. I wasn't looking forward to it one bit, I just didn't want to see my weight go up... 

.... and it didn't!!!! YAY~~!!!!

I went down by 0.4! Thank the LORD!!!

Okay so it's not a big loss and I get that, but.. it's still a loss, and that's good.. so now I'm 0.8 away from my 10% goal! (that's 0.8 according to the WW book, but if it was true it would be 1.2... need to lose 22.4 to be at 10 % realistically....) .. oh my I need to lose that this coming week.. I want the PRETTY FREAKING KEY CHAIN! haha.. 

I just had the most amazing treat.. a 3 Musketeers mint bar.. the whole thing was only 3 points.. for a chocolate bar!! It's so light, and minty, and great DARK chocolate! Mmm Mmm Good!!!

I got it at the Shoppers Drug Mart by my place, and I cannot wait to go get a couple more and freeze them.. ooh they'll be sooo yummy frozen! It's okay to have treats like this every now and then, as long as you track, and remember they aren't snacks, they're treats!

Okay kids, I'm taking my newly blond do to my favourite chair to finish "New Moon" and then I'm going out dancing with my girlfriends.. I am soo looking forward to starting this new week and losing a butt load (literally.. lol) of weight!

Dancin' the night away... 

xoxo

Pocket Full Of Sunshine!!!

Hello Ladies and Gents, 

Today is INDEED a NEW DAY!!!

Full of possibilities, full of potential, full of sunshine!!!

Yesterday only kinda kicked my ass, today I'm gonna kick the day's ass!

I'm on my way to the gym, and although I hurt my knee there yesterday (Yikes!) I am still going to work out and enjoy it! (do you like the pre workout pic? LOL)

Feeling fairly good this morning folks! Isn't it amazing how one person showing you compassion can turn your world around?  I had a guy at work yesterday who kept smiling at me and asking me how my day was going.. not "are you alright?" or "You okay?" those questions put me over the edge.... he just knew what to say.. and how to make me think about the good things! 

I hope you all have a person like that in your life! 

I'm giddy today.. what can I say? LOL.. I'm a bit of a nerd! haha

I am pretty psyched. I just got on my Wii Fit and it told me I've lost 1.5 since monday.. which may or may not be correct, depending on heaviness of clothing and such.. lots of variables there, but still it's nice to see a loss!!!  

Now get up and enjoy the GORGEOUS almost Spring weather!!!

Until next time.. 

xoxo

Not my day....

I'M SO NOT IN THE MOOD TO EAT PROPERLY TODAY!!!

I was at the gym.. contemplating quitting after 20 minutes, when a Burger ad popped up on the TV over my head... FUCK.. I've been craving a BIG ASS BACON CHEESE BURGER for close to a week, and then I thought about fries, and so I was like.. NO Kirsti get your head back into this, so I started reading my magazing again.. and what was on that page... the most amazing looking chocolate cheesecake this side of the mississippi !!!!!!

Now if it wasn't such a ridiculously hard day for me already (today is the anniversary of my Father's death.... and he would be the terrific looking fella in that pic with my Gorgeous Mum)..  I would have just been fine.. but here I sit... after only doing 45 minutes at the gym.... craving that burger still..... and fries... and then a fantastic piece of dessert...

I have to snap out of this.. hope you all have a good day..  I'm gonna have a nap I think.. 

ttyl 

xoxo

Oops I did it again..

Okay.. so ... I fucked up a bit... Saturday night with my girlfriend we ate some bad food.. now I only ate half of my dinner, and all of my dessert.. plus some added sweets afterwards, plus I had a bottle of wine.. and some shots..  SHIT!!!!!

However I was planning on recovering from it yesterday. I didn't work out like I had planned, I didn't eat well, and I didn't drink any water. 

So was I surprised to see that my weight was up 2.5 lbs at the gym today? Not at all.. so I have a plan. I want to work out really hard all week, and eat properly.... 

Do I expect to see big results at Saturday's Weigh In?? Nope... I hope it stays the same, because if it goes UP I will kick myself so hard in my own ass! I know we all have these Blips.. I'm not going to beat myself up for it. Instead I am just going to try to let it not effect my movivation. 

I wanted to lose 1.6 lbs this week.. I don't think it's going to happen. ... ... 

Why the binge the last 2 days?? Tomorrow, St Patrick's Day, is the anniversary of my father's death... I never deal with it well.. so............ I was bad... food = comfort for me.. and I felt pretty good the whole time I was eating!

Okay so I'm a little fucked up.. I'm okay with that! I just know I have to make it through this week without much more self sabotage. 

Here's hoping the rest of the week goes well!

Take care. 

xoxo

Feeling pretty darn great!!

Okay I didn't lose the 4 pounds I wanted, but I still lost 2.4.!!!

That's quite the achievement in itself. 

I know I wanted to lose 4... but I had to be real, and I'm so proud of myself for working harder this week than I have before in my life. Even getting ready for my brother's wedding I wasn't this diligent or controlled! I didn't cheat at all, I stayed within my points, and I worked out like a machine!

So here is the big picture. Since I started weight watchers on January 3, 2009 I have lost a grand total of 20.8 pounds!

 In the last 3 weeks I've lost 8.6 pounds So ... I have 1.6 pounds to hit my 10% goal.. I can do this.. 

I just took this picture with my handy dandy MacBook, I think I look great.. I even have a waist again! So I guess this is my "Now" picture... It's pretty much the most I can show of my progress without taking my shirt off! LOL.. don't mind the messy house!

I feel very empowered right now. I feel beautiful, I feel sexy. I feel like I did the summer of my brother's wedding.. and I'm so happy!!!! 

Today at breakfast (my weight watcher's girlfriend and I go out to eat breakfast every week after we attend the meeting.. and we always get something bad!) I had an egg-white and spinach omelette with a side of fruit instead of potatoes or sausage... and I feel soo much better than when we do the french toast or pancakes. All the small changes are beginning to effect all the areas of my life. I'm making great choices all the time and truly enjoying them..  

I don't usually work out on the weekends, but today I am going to do just that!  I want this feeling to never end!!    (don't judge me, but tonight I am drinking my wine! lol... I need one slip a week!)

I hope that you all feel empowered! Doing this for me, making these choices for me,  it's something that no one can take away from me.. this is me being selfish, only I can change my life... it's the best feeling ever.. only here can I be fully in control.. and I'm gonna ride this pony all the way to the end!!!!

Have a great Saturday!

xoxo

Feeling Beautiful...

So the weigh in is tomorrow, and I'm not nervous. I can't be upset at what the results may be. I've worked out hard all week, and eaten my exact points everyday (even when I wasn't in the mood to eat...)... I am so damn proud of myself, so proud in fact, that the number isn't important. I did this for me. 

I'm seeing changes, I'm feeling better, and I know I am doing this right !!!!!! Despite the fact I'm in no way thin, today I feel beautiful, I feel sexy, I feel desirable!

I'm just so happy for the changes that I'VE made, no one else can do this for me. This week I proved to myself that I AM WORTH IT!!!! 

Last night I kept thinking to myself how awesome it's going to be to be thin one day! I'm not so far away from my goal. It's a possibility.. and right this minute I'm strong enough to achieve it. Right this second.. tomorrow may be another story! LOL

I have to admit I'm craving Chocolate, and for some reason last night I was thinking about a BIG ASS BACON CHEESEBURGER!!!!!!!

Ahh.. instead I'm eating my eggwhites and oatmeal for breaky, and moving on from there! I really wish I could go to the gym today, but I have to go into work 5 hours early, and my gym isn't open after 8pm on Friday's.. and Since I only got 5 hours sleep last night I wasn't able to get up early to go before work... So I must rush off... 

I'll blog again once the weigh in is done. 

For now... Ciao friends!

xoxo

I am soo happy. 

I am starting to see the changes in my body. 

You know how sometimes you think you see changes, but then you realize you're just seeing something... well this time I know it's true.. why?? 

Because I fit back into my bridesmaid's dress from my Brother's wedding!!!! (Excuse the ex beside me in the pic.. but it shows how form fitting the dress is! LOL)

So although I'm still about 12 pounds more than I was in that pic... I'm working out more than I did back then, so I'm about the same "size" and I'm sooo darn happy about that!

Now I am also really sick right now :( So when I woke up this morning the last thing I wanted to do was work out. But then I watched the Biggest Loser from last night (soooo glad Mandy is gone.. I don't really like her or her sister....sorry!) I tried on my dress, and a couple other clothes from that summer.. I was suddenly REALLY MOTIVATED! LOL

I  did 30 minutes on high incline and at a 3.9 on the treadmill, and then I did the bike.. I hate the DAMNED BIKE! But whenever I wanted to lower the intensity on it I kept saying "4 pounds this week, 4 pounds this week...." .. I didn't give up!

Now reality does set in, and I know I may not lose 4 pounds this week, but I am going to do the best I truly can to see BIG NUMBERS!

I hope everyone is having a great week.. thank God it's Hump Day! lol

xoxo

Is This Too Much To Expect... In One Week??

So the goal of the week is ....      4 Pounds   Do you think I can do it? I know it's a little more than I probably should be shooting for, but I would love... Love... LOVE to lose it and be at my 

10 % Weight Watchers GOAL!!!

It really does just give me something to focus on and work at ALL WEEK. It also takes my mind off my FUCKWIT ex.  

I made a ginormous pot of chili yesterday. That really seems to be a bit of my Weight loss secret. (without being a secret).  The spicy-ness of it makes me drink loads of water, and it's a controlled portion, and it's not laden down with carbs or sugar.... so for some reason taking it for my work lunch/dinner really works for me.. plus it really fills me, and then I don't want to snack afterwards!

Going back to the Fuckwit, he messaged me on MSN yesterday (How did I miss blocking him and deleting him on there?? GRRRRR!!!) ... he wanted to know if something was wrong. So I told him how much he creeped me out and freaked me out.  He ended up getting very mad at me and said "fine I guess I'll just leave you alone." So I replied "sure, bye" and that was it.. I am SOOooooooooOOOooooooo   hoping that he actually really has gotten the point and does leave me alone. I think I am still going to run into the police station today just to see what kinda rights I have and even give them a heads up as to the situation at hand.. oh my!

Anyway kiddies, I have to go to the gym and have a killer work out.. 

Have a great day!

xoxo

Happy Day, Bad Night...

Words just can't describe how happy I am in this moment.. 

I lost another 2.6 today.. taking me to a total of 18.4 lbs lost! I haven't done this well on weight watchers EVER before! I usually quit around the 15 lb mark. 

My 10% is so close I can almost taste it.. just another 4 pounds.. maybe if I work really hard this week I'll reach it for next week! 

Oh I am so happy!

I had a fairly stressful night last night.... I broke up with my ex last summer. It was a decent enough break up, however he didn't really get the point. He honestly thinks we're gonna get back together at some point. I have done nothing to encourage this notion. All week he was trying to get together with me, Monday I told him I had a doctor's appointment (which in all honesty I was sure it was Monday but it turned out to be Wednesday, oops!).. Wednesday I didn't bother replying to his text, and Friday I told him it was Girl's night. Okay I flat out lied there. I was planning a quiet night at home on my own. I went to the gym after work and wanted to stay in , make a lovely supper, and just chill out. He got mad and sent me a text saying "it's alway's girl's night or doc appointments. Grr!!". I didn't reply. At 9pm he sent me another text asking if it was still girl's night. I sent back 4 letters. "yeah". I was getting ready for a relaxing bath, when he sent me a text that said. " But I'm in the area"... (he lives 45 minutes away. No reason to be in the area.. ) . At this point I put on my robe and ranaround the house, shutting curtains and turning out lights, and of course setting the alarm. Just then he sent me yet another text "The house looks good".... SHIT MOTHERFRICKER!!!! He was outside by my mailbox watching my house! How creepy is that I ran up to my room.  I peeked behind the blind seeing his car.. Just then my phone rang and scared the crap out of me. It was a buddy.. my heart was beating so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants.. I told him he had to stay on the line with me until Fuckwit outside was gone. ... Am I over reacting? 1/2 an hour later he sent me his final text "Fine, have a good night then."

I was scared shitless.. who comes over after being told that the other person is already busy? 

Did I forget to mention his ex had to get a RESTRAINING ORDER when she broke up with him???? 

Yikes a boo boo!

I want to send him an email telling him how disrespectful he was of me and my wishes last night, and that this is the only warning he shall get. Next time I'm calling the cops.. but I chickened out ... and so all I did was delete him from facebook. .. Creepy!

Well I have a date tonight with my cowboy. So I think I am going to go relax until I have to get ready. I bought a sexy new outfit that fits perfectly. So I'm stoked.. I'm gonna knock his socks off!!!!

Take care!

xoxo

Sucker for a smile..

Hello blog friends!

What can I tell you, I'm a sucker for a smile.. especially on a cowboy .. (mmm Cowboys! lol).. and the guy I've been dating for the last 2 months is this amazing looking fella indeed! Who has a love of country music, a great truck, and a beautiful dog! A Cowboy indeedy! LOL

Now I say "dating", and although I've been seeing him and only him, I'm not sure if you could call what we've been doing dating.  Shall I explain?

We have been going for coffee, for 2 months. He came by my friend's place at New Years to give me a New Years hug (aww).. however that was the last time he had touched me.. for 2 months! No kisses, no more hugs.. nada!

This weekend he invited me to go to the dog park with him, his dog CuJo, and his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend. I was all for it! Too bad it was -20 with the windchill! lol

Now when he picked me up, he hugged me.. I was in heaven. We chatted the entire time, lots of laughter, and this is when I realized, he's going so darn slow because he's "Courting" me! As he dropped me off on Saturday I think he was going to lean over and kiss me in his truck, but my neighbours were outside and watching me... so I told him I had a terrific time, and hopped out. (not as fast as it sounds, but I did make a swift getaway!).. 

So last night he came over for a drink. Man was I nervous. He's been in my house before, not only when he's picked me up, but he also came when I had friend's over for a Dance Dance Revolution 2 (Or as we pro's call it DDR2) party... but now it was going to be just the two of us. My house is always spotless and free of clutter.. when I get stressed or nervous I clean, and yet I had NOTHING to clean! LOL...  Anyway he came over, he had a beer, I had wine.. and we just talked, laughed, and shared. It was so delightful. 

At the end I walked him to the door, and he took me in his arms for another amazing hug, we pulled apart.. and then he hugged me again, with a kiss on the cheek! A kiss on the cheek.. ahhhh I'm in heaven! LOL (I think he may have been going in for a lip kiss, but me being the klutzy girl I am.. I turned my head slightly... but I'll still settle for the cheek kiss!)

I've never had a relationship that has moved so slowly, but I gotta tell you, it feels amazing to be wooed, I feel so special. Someone is putting a real effort into spending time with me. 

I remember telling him last night how nervous I was to be moving to a different area at work today. It was with all the same people, but I was in charge of some different operations.. and he remembered and messaged me when I got home to see how I made out.. 

I gotta tell you guys.. I like this one!!!!

I guess it's at this point that you realize that this Kirsti girl is an utterly pathetic romantic!!! LOL.. 

This has nothing to do with weight loss, except that right now, he is the reason I'm working that little bit harder at the gym.. 

he's so pretty!!!!

LOL.. just had to share!